“Herbie, I was talking to somebody else. I’m in a restaurant, having dinner with friends. Or, at least, I was, until you called.”
“Yeah, I got the ticket right here.”
“What does it say the charges are?”
“Let’s see: DUI, driving with a suspended license, and—you’re not going to believe this, Stone—resisting arrest with violence.”
“And why wouldn’t I believe that, Herbie?”
“You know me, Stone. I’m not a violent person.”
“What did you do to the cop, Herbie?”
“It’s kind of hazy. I’d had a couple beers.”
“Did the cop Breathalyze you?”
“Yeah.”
“What was the reading?”
“Two-point-oh.”
“Jesus, Herbie, that’s more than double the legal limit! Could you even walk?”
“Not good. Like I said, it’s all pretty hazy.”
“Why was your license suspended, Herbie?”
“Oh, I guess that was that other DUI.”
“You had a previous DUI? When?”
“I don’t know, two, three weeks ago.”
“So you’ve had two DUIs in less than a month?”
“I guess.”
“What did the judge give you for the first one?”
“Community service and DUI school.”
“Have you performed any community service?”
“Not yet. I been pretty busy.”
“Did you attend DUI school?”
“Not all of it.”
“How many times did you go?”
“Uh, once.”
“It’s three classes, right?”
“Uh, yeah.”