Dominic was being respectful to her and a true gentleman, but that somehow made her want him even more. And the things she wanted him to do to her were neither respectful or gentlemanly in the least.
But this moment felt precious in a way, and she didn’t want to ruin that. All Maria wanted to do was understand him more.
He called her beautiful, but Maria believed she was ugly. On the outside, yes, Maria knew she was beautiful, but that wasn’t what really mattered. Those things faded with time and were shallow, like me.
There was a reason why Maria presented herself so gorgeously on the outside—because the inside was hideous.
Dominic was different, though. He was not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, he was just as, if not more, breathtaking … and in their cruel world, that was all that would ever matter.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked softly.
“Yes.”
Even though Dominic had answered like she could ask him anything, Maria still hoped her question was okay to ask. “Did you sleep with anyone after what happened to you?”
“Yes.” He nodded just a little bit over his hands. “I’ve been with lots of women, Maria,” he admitted honestly. “The first four were not my choosing, but I thought, somehow, I could undo what happened to me by sleeping with women of my choosing. So, I drowned those first four out by fucking women over and over, but it never worked. Most of the women I slept with were in that first year. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, but every woman I was with didn’t live here and wasn’t untouched, like me. We both did it to help forget whatever it was we were running from. It was never out of love and only to serve a purpose.”
She could hear it in Dom’s voice and see it in his eyes that he used to be ashamed of what had happened to him and the things he did to cope with it, but he wasn’t anymore. He had healed, which allowed him to speak so openly now.
Maria’s silence had him continuing. “If you’re worried, I am clean. I’ve been tested and, like I said, I haven’t been with someone—”
“I’m not,” she assured him with a shush, putting a stop to his fears. “That wasn’t a worry in my mind at all.” Maria knew he would have never come close to sleeping with her if he even thought he could give her something. “You’ve never explained anything that happened in your past to me, Dominic. I only ever want to hear about it when you want to tell me.”
“Okay.” He gave her little smile … before it slowly disappeared.
Maria listened as Dominic told her in depth about the night he lost his virginity. He told her everything, and no story had ever made her feel such strong emotions of anger, sadness, and hurt, but she continued to listen as they both stayed perfectly still. She learned a lot about Dominic that night, but one night wasn’t long enough to tell twenty-eight years of abuse. Sleep would come first ….
Thirty-Six
Ketchup is Seasoning
The sun coming up stirred Maria to wake, but before opening her eyes, her first thought was that Dom would be gone. The trauma of waking up and not seeing the last man she’d shared a bed with remained. But there Dominic was, fast asleep, peaceful.
Smiling, she stared at him a moment longer, then quietly and very carefully got up, grabbing her heels before leaving the room and going down the creaky steps.
Passing a little bathroom, she took a few minutes for herself and cleaned up a bit. Slipping her shoes back on, she left the tiny bathroom, heading down the hall, keeping herself from loudly clicking her heels. She about made it to the living area without even so much as a peep when she saw a someone she didn’t know in the kitchen. The “peep” hadn’t come from Maria, but the older woman who screamed at the sight of her.
“Holy shit.” The woman gasped for air. “You scared the piss out of me.”
“Sorry about that.” Maria stared at her curiously. “Who are you?”
“I’m DeeDee.” She smiled, looking at her yesterday’s dress and heels. “Are you one of Matthias’s friends?”
“Ew, no.” She practically gagged, knowing what she meant by “friend.” “I’m one of Dominic’s.”
“Dom’s?” DeeDee looked at her in disbelief. “That’s strange.”
“Yes.” She nodded, finding the way the woman was looking at her stranger.
“Well, come sit down, sweetie.” DeeDee came to her and took her arm, leading her to the kitchen table. “I’ll make you some breakfast. Would you like some orange juice?”
Watching her go to the fridge, she remembered Dominic drinking from the milk carton, and while she didn’t mind swapping spit with him, she wasn’t about to swap it with the other two brothers. “Water’s good, actually.”