He didn’t know why he obeyed the soft command, but once he started talking, he couldn’t stop. “I used to eat at this diner near my apartment every night. I’d walked there and back so many times I started recognizing faces. Making friends. There was a guy who ran the hot dog stand and listened to audio books, another who sold t-shirts and cheap cell phones and…there was a woman near the alley who always seemed to have a fresh set of bruises. I was worried about what she was selling, but she looked so sad and no one ever approached her. I imagined it was because of the quiet six-year-old boy who sat at her feet and never took his eyes off her, as if he were protecting her or afraid she would disappear.” His throat tightened. “He got to me, that kid. I started bringing them hot dogs and food from the diner, but she never took any for herself and she wouldn’t say anything to me other than ‘Thank you’. She didn’t seem like she belonged there, but I didn’t want to push. She was very skittish.”
Seamus could see it all as if it had happened yesterday. “One night it got so cold, and it was snowing so hard, that I tried to get her to go to a shelter, but she was terrified of that idea. I didn’t know why. I finally convinced her to stay one night at my place instead. All I could think about was the little guy shivering beside her in three layers of clothing. I offered her a warm meal, clean clothes and a shower. I even told her the name of my cousin, so she could call the police station and ask for him if she didn’t feel safe.”
“What happened?”
“She was so surprised when I fed her and made up the couch for myself without asking for anything in return that she almost cried. But then I fell asleep. I don’t think it was for long, but by the time I woke up she was gone, and Jake was sitting quietly on the bed, looking so lost I swore he knew she wasn’t coming back.”
“She ran away?”
“The police didn’t find her body for two days. I think she did mean to come back for her son. They said her boyfriend caught her sneaking in to get their things and some money and… Well, since she didn’t have any living relatives, I started taking steps to adopt Jake myself.”
Bellamy swore and shook his head. “That’s fucking tragic. Poor woman. And you. I can’t imagine it was easy. One night of kindness and suddenly you’re a bachelor adopting a child.”
Seamus nodded. “It should have been impossible. But I used every family contact and pulled every string I had. All I knew was that I had to take care of him. He’d already lost too much.”
Bellamy hadn’t stopped touching him, slowly running his fingers over the back of Seamus’s hand, somehow soothing and arousing at the same time. “You said you had four children?”
He wanted to know more? Why wasn’t he changing the subject and looking uncomfortable? Why wasn’t he looking at Seamus with pity? “Jake and I were on our own for a few months when I met a woman who was temping in his pediatrician’s office. She was funny and attentive with Jake, and having her flirt with me was a nice change after all we’d been going through. So when she asked me out, I said yes.”
He paused, knowing there were some things he still couldn’t say out loud to anyone. “When Presley found out she was pregnant with twins, she didn’t handle it well. She wanted out, and I got sole custody of Penny and Wes as soon as they were born. They’ve never met her.”
It was for the best. For everyone.
“Did you love her?”
He couldn’t lie. “No. Not the way she needed me to.”
“And your youngest?”
Seamus looked down at his hands. This was usually the point in his story where his family starting making jokes about his talent for chasing away women who kept leaving babies on his doorstep.
“Before my father retired, a woman showed up at Finn’s one night, tired, broke and extremely pregnant. I wasn’t there, but Dad said he felt compelled to let her stay in the place we have behind the bar, rent free, until she got on her feet.”
See? He wanted to say. The apple didn’t fall that far. Dad’s a sucker too.
“He started asking me to look in on her and make sure she was okay.” Seamus shrugged. “So I did. I let Jake come with me to bring her groceries and they played cards and, despite the fact that she’d left an abusive situation, she seemed surprisingly together. My mother took her to see her doctor and even threw her a small baby shower. I think everyone was hoping I would…” He shook his head. “But there was never anything but friendship between us. Mira had big dreams of traveling and being an actress and I was already firmly planted with a family.”