Stephen growled. “I can’t touch you but you can do that? And what is my wallet going to tell you that you don’t already know?”
“Trust me. I’m gathering vital information. For example, everything in here is organized. As organized as this place you claim to live in. Even your walking-around money looks like you ironed it, which is a little frightening, but I suppose we can get away with the opposites attract story for the week. I could pretend to have an irresistible attraction to neat freaks and obsessive-compulsives.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being organized,” Stephen grumbled. “It helps me think.”
“You know what helps me think? Baked goods and orgasms. Give me a chocolate chip acai berry muffin and a few hardcore climaxes and there isn’t a problem in the world I can’t sort out.” She smiled when she heard his huff of laughter. “Speaking of treats, you’ve got enough holes punched in this Smoothie Palace card that I know you’re a regular. Based on your mother’s stocked pantry back in high school, I’d bet there’s peanut butter involved. Unless that was a Seamus addiction.”
“Peanut butter and banana,” he replied.
“I knew it. I’m a big fan of the strawberry and kale combo, if you were wondering. It’s delicious and I don’t have to lie when my grandmother asks me if I’m eating my vegetables.” She moved against him again. “What’s my purse telling you?”
“That you live out of it and you are not organized. There’s a packaged toothbrush, condoms, an energy bar. Several wadded-up bits of paper with phone numbers, an orange, a clean pair of underwear, lip gloss and a water bottle. Are you on the run from the law, ready to hitchhike at a moment’s notice? Is there a tent in here too?”
She chuckled softly. “It’s my club kit. I was there last night and I haven’t had time to clean out my purse. I also have Neosporin and lube, and somewhere at the bottom I’m pretty sure there’s a pair of fuzzy handcuffs.”
The large leather purse shifted on her thighs. “There is. Jesus, what do you do there that requires this kind of supply list?”
She took a breath. He’d known for a long time that she was into kink—something she could thank Owen for via a thoughtless comment overheard at a family gathering years ago. Stephen rarely asked her about it and she hadn’t volunteered much information. But these were basic details it wouldn’t hurt for him to know. “The adrenaline rush, the energy that playing a scene involves, usually has after-effects, both physical and emotional. In a bottom it’s called subdrop, but Doms can experience it too. The water helps with dehydration, the bar with the inevitable sugar crash, and the ointment is for any deep cuts or welts caused by any number of fun toys. The handcuffs are just always nice to have on hand. You never know when you might need them.”
Stephen was silent until she was finished. “And the condoms? Do you need them? Do you always have sex with people you…play a scene with?”
His hot hand had dropped to her thigh and she licked her lips. He wasn’t supposed to be doing that. “Actually, I don’t. Not anymore.”
“Not anymore?”
It was like being in a confessional, unable to see his face as she answered his questions honestly. Forgive me, Stephen, for I have sinned…
“I used to. It’s a rush, that kind of intimacy and power exchange. If you like it and your partner knows what they’re doing, it’s a high unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Everything you’ve been holding in and pushing down comes flooding out in a wave of release, leaving you empty and completely satisfied at the same time. And whoever gave you that release, that perfect mix of pain and pleasure, becomes the focus of all that extra energy. You can easily mistake it for genuine attraction, even love, until you learn to recognize the difference.”
His hand flexed. “And you know the difference now?”
“I was a quick study.” She wasn’t going to tell him that she was one of the few who’d always known. She would never make any apologies for how she chose to express herself, but while she’d received several declarations of love from her play partners, she’d known it wasn’t the real thing. She’d felt the real thing. “Quicker than most. Which is one of the reasons why when I top now, it’s usually to instruct or just for enjoyment with someone who knows the score. It’s also usually with a woman.”
His cock jerked. Was he imagining her with a woman? “When you say top, you mean…”
“When I’m in charge, I hold the whip or the paddle. I tease and torment my partner until they cry Uncle or I give them the release they need.”
“You’re not doing that to me.”