“No.” He didn’t feel this way due to proximity or adrenaline, no matter what Ken said. “I’m not going anywhere. Not when you’re like this. You’re not—”
“I’m fine,” he stressed. “But I admit this job took its toll. I need time to sort it out. To think about everything that’s happened. I know you understand.”
We’re not the best fit.
I want you to go.
I’d rather be alone.
Brady didn’t think there was another way Ken could say it without holding a large, neon sign. Yesterday he’d thought… But this morning Terry was safe, Grimes was dead and Tanaka wanted him to go.
“I don’t believe—I mean I can’t understand why you…” He took a deep breath, releasing Ken and stepping back. “But it’s your place. Your call. If this is what you really want, Tanaka, then I guess there’s nothing left to say.”
“This is what I think I need.” Ken turned to face the microwave again. “What we both need.”
Brady stared at his lover’s stiff back for what seemed like hours. He wanted to fight. He wanted to take Ken in his arms and remind him how good they were together. But in the end he just left the office and went to collect his duffel bag. The only thing that belonged to him. The only proof that he was ever here.
It was over. When the shock wore off he needed to be as far from here as possible. He didn’t want Tanaka to see him shatter.
Chapter Ten
“Here’s another root beer, Brady.” Seamus set the bottle on the bar in front of him. “Are you sure you don’t want something stronger?”
Brady shook his head. He needed to stay in control. Now more than ever. “This sugar high is better than a rum blackout. I am hearing a strange pounding in my ears though.”
“Construction.” Seamus sighed. “I can’t wait to open up again. Owen’s crew has done great work and it’s only two days, but I’m ready for the dust to settle so I can reopen. I miss adult problems and drunks and appetizers that aren’t shaped like stars and dinosaurs.”
Brady couldn’t help but chuckle. Super Dad needed a vacation. He glanced over at the new stage that had sprung up by the dartboards. “A place for a band, bigger bathrooms, a fixed roof… That’s a lot for two days.”
“They get paid well, and they each get one free drink a night for life. Apparently that was the right incentive.”
Brady imagined it would be. “How’s your dad doing with all this change?”
“Dad is proud, and before you ask everyone else is fine.” His cousin leaned his elbows on the bar and frowned. “You, however, look like shit.”
“Gee, thanks,” Brady muttered. “At least I don’t have little mustard fingerprints on the back of my shirt.”
Seamus looked over his shoulder and swore. “How the hell did that happen? I put Penny and Wes in the shower and changed my shirt before I came here.”
Solomon appeared beside Brady, tossing a set of keys on the bar and taking off his sunglasses before he sat down. “Sol says he didn’t own a clean shirt outside of his uniform until Rory left home. Hey brother, what’s new?”
Brady ground his teeth together. Solomon was the last person he wanted to see. “Other than me being wrong about the pub being closed for construction? I don’t know, Chief. You tell me.”
“I can’t close to family.” Seamus shrugged, setting an iced tea down in front of Solomon, who nodded his thanks.
“Okay, let’s think about what’s happened since the last time you answered your phone. Uncle Shawn’s a little down in the dumps. Owen and Jeremy are coming back the day after tomorrow, and Badass has been staying with him for the duration. You know how much he loves that dog.”
Owen’s dog was going to come back spoiled rotten with no Brady-the-babysitter to look after him when Owen wanted a nap. Shame. “I’ll send a card.”
“I also heard from Rory that you went to the VA to talk to someone about your sleeping problems.”
Brady didn’t respond, reminding himself to sock Rory in the jaw for gossiping. As for the doctor, he’d had to do something. Waking up from memories of car bombs and innocent casualties had never been easy, but they’d never been this hard. Now, every time he realized he was awake, he remembered that there wasn’t a good reason to be. Ken wasn’t beside him.
Talking to the doctor helped. He’d even made another appointment.
“If it means anything, I’m sorry.”
“What?” Brady looked over at Solomon in mock-surprise. “Should I be taping this?”
Solomon frowned. “I’m not sorry I was worried about you. I am sorry if something I said made him… That wasn’t my intention.”
Brady looked back down at his bottle. He shouldn’t be taking this out on his brother. Solomon isn’t the one who sent him away. All he’d done was show up exactly when he needed him to. “You were there to help and that’s what you did. I appreciate it, and I should’ve said it before now.”