“I’ll go.” She heard Hollis say.
“No,” she called back. “I’ve no need for a babysitter.”
But his steady footfalls followed anyway. She waited, slamming the door in his face at the last possible moment. It was petty, but the surprise on his face was rewarding nonetheless. Her forehead rested against the thick wooden door, eyes pressed shut, breath coming in short bursts.
“Ellen.” Hollis’s voice was soft. “Let me in.”
She stared at the door, willing the memories crashing over her, pulling her away and tearing at her heart. Tiny Isabel. So soft and sweet. Innocent to the dangers of their world. She’d had her daughter too short a time. What would she be like now if Cyrus had not found them? Her mind wouldn’t show her, her dreams never ventured beyond Isabel’s and William’s deaths—the same day she had been struck by whatever had left the corded scar along her head.
They should have had their vengeance by now. Ellen should have found a way to avenge them. It was time. They would have their vengeance, and Diana and Oscar would be safe.
“Ellen.” Hollis’s voice was muffled through the thick door. “Let me in, please.”
Better to embrace her anger than drown in her sorrow. The doorknob was solid in her grip, but she nearly ripped the door off its hinges when she yanked it wide. “Worried I’ll climb out the window?” Her anger almost choked her.
“No.” He frowned. “Of course not. They don’t know you the way I do.”
“The way you do?” she repeated, his calm dismissal smothering some of her fury. “You know nothing about me.”
“You’re not mad at me,” he said. “Dante’s acting like a dick. I agree. But he’s scared. They all are.”
“Of me?” She crossed her arms over her waist.
“No, of what you can bring down on the pack.” He pushed into her room and closed the door behind him. “To be honest, I don’t understand why you’re going back. If you won’t stay, why not go someplace new. Start again?”
“Start again?” She swallowed down a bitter laugh. He was right, she wasn’t angry with him. But she was angry. At the world. “Not yet.”
“Not yet?” He studied her so long and silently that Ellen began to think the conversation was over. His question surprised her. “Cyrus will let you live?”
She’d imagined her homecoming a dozen different ways. Each time she was successful. Cyrus was dead. Ripping off his head. Tearing out his throat. Slicing through his stomach. Her promise was honored. She’d made peace long ago with the fact that she wouldn’t survive. “Do you care?”
“Of course I care.” His surprise was disarming, and oddly adorable.
She smiled. “I’ve lived enough, I think.”
His face paled. Poor Hollis. Instead of living this life, he’d studied it. Buttoned-up in his lab coats, surrounded by every possible gadget and resource, he knew nothing of his heritage.
While he sought to destroy the very thing that made her who she was, she craved revenge against the man who’d nearly broken her. It was all that mattered to her now. The species would go on without the constant fear of Cyrus and his pack. Hollis couldn’t understand that until he accepted what he was.
“I will pick my end, not stand by, wringing my hands, and worrying over every shadow.” She drew herself upright. “If it is my time, it is my time. There is nothing left for me but revenge, Hollis.”
“You want children,” he argued, his green eyes flashing. “If you didn’t, this wouldn’t matter to you.” The tick in his jaw surprised her. As did the flare of his nostrils. She’d upset him.
And it humbled her. “I want a great many things. Oh, Hollis, you have no idea.” Her fingers stroked his hair from his temple. “But I want nothing more than his death.”
His hand circled her wrist. “Then stay. On that, we are all united.”
“You want me to stay?” she asked, hoping to divert him. He’d never understand why she must do this alone. He wasn’t driven by emotion and passion. They were alien concepts, things too insubstantial to warrant further investigation. “Tell me why?”
He
frowned, swallowing. “Because what you’re planning won’t end well.”
“For Cyrus,” she agreed.
“For you. Dammit, Ellen, you can’t give him that. He doesn’t deserve you.” The hint of a growl made her insides tighten. “You don’t need to fight alone.”
“I won’t have anyone else’s blood on my hands.”