Hollis shook his head. They wanted two very different things. She wanted the wolves to thrive, he wanted them to no longer exist. “We’ve covered this. Mal has no interest in breeding with Olivia.”
Ellen sniffed, grinning widely. “He has little interest in anything.” Her brows rose. “But he has no interest in fatherhood at the moment.”
“That’s what I meant.” He ran a hand through his hair. Between Mal and Olivia, and Alpha Finn and his mate, Jessa—the number of their pack could double in no time. But no one wanted that. Growing a family was one thing. Growing a pack was another.
Ellen might think shape-shifting was some great honor, but he did not. This world—werewolves, full moons, and violent pack feuds—wasn’t something they’d chosen. How the hell could they relish bringing a new generation into their world? He couldn’t imagine it. He had one goal: a cure for the infection in their blood might give them a chance at a normal live. Well, relatively normal.
He’d begun testing shortly after being infected. Every vaccine and trial had led to nothing but frustration. He had every resource available to him, yet he’d nothing to show for it. That was why he was looking through her file again. Hope. Resolve. And growing desperation.
Ellen studied him, making no effort to pretend otherwise. When she was done, she shook her head.
What was she looking for? Thinking? Did she want him to ask? Or was this another way of teasing him? He shouldn’t let her get in his head and press the buttons. He shouldn’t give her the satisfaction. He pressed his lips together, watching as her eyes narrowed slightly. Now what? Dammit. “What?” he asked.
“You sho
uld find a mate,” she said, tilting her head. “It might help you relax. Smile a little.”
He laughed. “Relax? Sure. Because nothing says relaxation like having a mate. Bonding. Relationship. Commitment. I don’t think so.” He would never do that to himself or the woman he cared for. It was selfish and foolish. He’d like to think he was neither. “There’s important work to be done first. I can’t waste my time on anything else.” He didn’t want the distractions that Finn and Mal were saddled with since finding their mates. They couldn’t make a decision without worrying over Jessa and Olivia.
“You’re right. A bond requires work and time.” She paused, running a hand along her neck and down her shirt front. Her soft moan made the hair on the back of his neck stand tall. “No mate then. But sex? Mate or no, Hollis, everyone has time for sex. When there’s no hunt or fight to be had, sex is the best way to keep the wolf tame.” She leaned forward, her breath tickling his ear. “If it’s done well, you might even make time for it. Sex would do you some good.”
She was a hairbreadth away. So close. Close enough. All he had to do was turn and his lips would be on the skin of her neck. He stared at her neck. The thrum of her pulse. Her sweet scent. The brush of her hair on his forehead.
“It feels good.” She pressed her hand against the side of his face. “Don’t you want to feel good?”
She had no idea what she was doing to him. Or did she? He cleared his throat, refusing to be distracted by her gaze or the softness of her touch. “I will feel better when I’ve found a cure.”
She sighed, straightening. “When your wolf breaks free, it will be interesting to watch.”
“We’re not talking about this again.” He meant it. Her preoccupation with his wolf’s existence only reinforced the fact that he didn’t have one. If he did, he’d know it.
Finn, Mal, Dante, and Anders all had an obvious relationship with their wolves. Each of them were separate, strong and capable creatures that lived inside their human skins. For the most part, they were a team, working together. Apparently, relationships between man and wolf could be complicated. Mal remarked on more than one occasion that he wanted his wolf to “shut the fuck up.” But that was Mal. Olivia said she enjoyed the camaraderie she and her wolf shared.
The wolf was each individual’s guardian and a guardian of the pack. When needed, the wolf took over to do whatever man couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do. That, Hollis envied. Doing his part to protect his pack when threatened. With Cyrus and his pack of Others waiting in the shadows, the threat was always there. Wolf or not, Hollis wanted the man, and his wolf, to suffer and die.
And a cure would be able do that. If he didn’t let her distract him, that is. “With any luck, I’ll find a cure before that happens.” He spun on his stool, his knee brushing her hip as he did so.
Her soft growl told him all he needed to know.
“You cling to your facts and your fancy computers, Dr. Hollis. But you know we—our species—cannot be quantified. Diana should not exist. Jessa should not have survived. No human gestation was so hurried. But they did. Both of them. Perfect and healthy. Because there is no genetic deviation. They—we—are meant to be. What if we are important? Part of the ecosystem. Necessary.” Ellen’s calm assertion that Jessa would deliver safely had been the only reason Finn had held on to his sanity.
While he’d been considering all outcomes, making hypothesis, and coming up with treatment plans for a variety of outcomes, Ellen had pointed out flaws, inconsistencies, and remained maddeningly confident that, for no logical or possible reason, Jessa and the baby would be fine.
And she’d been right.
He’d never been so relieved to be wrong. But now that they’d no reason to work side by side, Hollis was…disappointed. She’d kept him on his toes, challenged his every word, and provided insight beyond his realm of reality. He wasn’t happy Tess was ill, but he was happy Finn had turned down Ellen’s offer to return Tess to the Others. Her nightmares told him what she wouldn’t. And they gutted him. Infuriated him. Ellen wasn’t meant to beg. But whatever the fuck Cyrus and Byron had done to her had her begging. Pleading. And screaming. Wolf or no, Hollis’s blood boiled with the need for action and justice.
It was only a matter time before she asked to leave again. What would Finn do? Even if he wasn’t concerned over Ellen’s welfare, how could he let her return to the Others knowing all she knew?
“Nothing?” she asked.
He’d been lost in thought and she thought he was racking his brain for some suitable argument. The wolves—part of a necessary ecosystem? No logic there. None. What possible purpose could monsters serve in the real world. And, sadly, this was the real world. But he was too tired to launch into another debate with her.
“I didn’t realize there was an acceptable response.”
She was studying him, looking smug. And sexy as hell. The strap of her tank had slipped off her shoulder.
“There is. You admit you cannot cure what we are.” Each word dripped exasperation. “For a man of science, your inability to see facts is troubling. We are what we are, Hollis.”