"Of course, he made me promise not to tell a soul." Just thinking about it, I was so stupid. "He had me convinced that my grandfather would fire him if he knew and that my family would block him from becoming the rodeo champ. So, for three years, we hid our relationship, or whatever it is that you want to call it. I would sneak out of my house and meet him at the barn. It was stupid, so fucking stupid." I laugh, putting my hand to my forehead as I shake my head. "I didn’t tell a soul. Not one fucking soul. Not my mother, not my grandfather, not even Chelsea and Quinn." I hold up my hand with my finger up. "He was my secret and only mine. We would stay up all night sometimes as he spoke about his big dream of owning his own farm and being rodeo champ. Everything that he wanted to achieve with me by his side. Every single time he mentioned his dream, I was the one beside him holding his hand." The tears come. "I loved him so much that his dream became my dream. I would have followed him anywhere." I shake my head. "I was going to leave everything that I know and love just for him. Because he was my everything."
"Amelia," he says my name softly.
"I know, stupid, right? Who the fuck falls in love when they are fifteen?" I laugh as the tears pour down my face. "I mean, besides my parents and my grandparents and my aunt Savannah and my uncle Beau." He smiles softly as he looks at me.
I gather the strength to continue, knowing that the next part will take me back to a place I never wanted to go. There was never a need to tell anyone this, but I want Asher to know. I want to give him a piece of myself that he just gave me. "The plan was that he was going to get us a place, and the minute I turned eighteen, we would get married. Every single weekend, he would head down and see if there was anything we could afford. Then he would come back and tell me all about the apartments he looked at and how it was going to be perfect for us." I put my hand to my stomach, feeling like I’m going to be sick. I take a second, the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger. Even though I told myself he would never get another tear from me.
"I counted down the days. Counted down the hours until the day I turned eighteen. He had been gone a week. He was fixing up our place, he said, and putting the final touches on it. He even sent me pictures." The hurt is like it was yesterday instead of years ago. "The night I turned eighteen, I didn’t sleep a wink. Not one fucking second. I was so excited for him to come and get me. I was on pins and needles all day. I couldn’t wait to finally tell everyone about us. I was so excited to finally do all the things I dreamed of doing with him. Walking into my parents' house. Holding his hand. Kissing him when I wanted. Finally able to show everyone that I found someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with. My parents threw me this ridiculous party with everyone there." I close my eyes as my heart shatters yet again in my chest. "His truck got there. I got up with a huge smile on my face as I saw him get out of the driver side. I was one second from running to him when I saw the passenger door open. My feet were stuck to the ground. This woman climbed out of the truck, and he held out his hand for her, and together they walked into my party." I look into his brown eyes, feeling all the warmth that a hug could give from one look. "He introduced his new wife to everyone." Saying the words almost cut me off at the knees. I put my hand out onto the table. "He was married." I take a deep breath in. "He was married to someone else."
I close my eyes again, and this time, I feel his arms around me. "Baby," he says softly. "Don’t cry."
My arms go around his neck as I bury my face into his neck. "It’s why I’ll never give anyone control. It’s why I won’t let anyone pay for anything. It’s why I work two jobs. It’s why my dreams are mine and mine alone. It’s why I have to do this myself. It’s as much for me as a fuck you to him," I say, laughing.