“It’s over. The trial has been decided,” he snarled.
Gabe spoke firmly, without emotion. “Yes, but I have not decided.”
Simon turned, putting me behind him and making it clear with the position of his body that he would fight if necessary. “You were the accuser, Gabe. You cannot be that and the judge. Unless you intend to rewrite the rules again.”
Gabe held up his hands, keeping distance between us. “She has her freedom, but Joth is still on that throne, and we must decide what to do next.” He kicked at the ground. “No, I must decide what to do next. Kestra seems to have a plan. I have to decide whether to follow her. Whether to believe she is the person you think she is.”
“Follow us, or don’t,” Simon said. “You were supposed to be my friend, and until the last few days, you were one of the few people I trusted, no matter what else was happening.”
“I’m still that friend, Simon. Haven’t you said yourself that your feelings for Kestra would get in the way of making the right decisions? I was protecting you, and everyone on our side, everyone you are supposed to be leading! I’ve proven my friendship!”
“Have you?” Simon’s hands curled into fists. “If this is your idea of friendship, then it is one I don’t need.”
He tried to lead me away, but I crossed in front of him and said, “We need every person we can get. I’d like to talk to Gabe.”
“Talk?” Gabe arched a brow. “Are you going to grab my arm and turn me into a puddle on the ground?”
“If I could, I’d be thinking about it. Some of your accusations went too far.”
Gabe stared at me without expression, then gestured for the two of us to walk. I whispered to Simon that we would be all right, and he stayed back, though his hand had returned to his sword. I didn’t think Gabe would try anything, not after the judges had just decided my innocence. But I had a knife in my boot, and I could get to it if necessary.
After we had rounded our first corner and Simon was out of sight, Gabe said, “If you knew my history, you would understand why I made those accusations. I grew up with the Coracks, fought the Dominion my entire life, considered every Dallisor I encountered an enemy, because they always were. When Simon joined up, he and I fought together, and no matter what, he was always there when I needed him. Then he met you and everything flipped upside down. It didn’t matter anymore that you were a Dallisor, or worse, that you were Endrean. He somehow ignored the fact that you nearly killed him. It took the death of his mother for him to finally question his relationship with you. And once you obtained magic, he should have ended any connection with you, but he didn’t.”
I wasn’t sure what Gabe expected me to say to that. He didn’t know my history either, yet he had presumed to cast every sort of judgment upon me.
He continued. “I made those accusations because I had to protect the people in that room. Kestra, if you were lying—if you are still lying about your abilities—I had a duty to do everything I could for them.”
“I did not lie, not once.”
“You are still Endrean, and could reclaim your magic. Then the cycle would repeat itself. We can never fully trust you.”
I stopped and stared at him. “Do you think you are immune from any sort of corruption? That the lack of magic somehow shields a person from ever causing harm to another, or abusing their position of power? You have sided against me at nearly every opportunity since the day we met, so how can I ever trust you?”
That seemed to affect him. After a pause, he asked, “Will you walk away now? Most people would. They’d count themselves lucky to still be alive and would get as far from this coming fight as possible.”
“I bear some blame for Joth being on that throne. So I must be part of the plan to remove him.” I shrugged. “Most people would walk away. I cannot.”
“Perhaps you should,” he added. “Six judges found you innocent, but that does not mean all their people agree with their decision. Can you be sure that a stray disk won’t accidentally catch you from behind?”
Slowly, I nodded. “Will it be your stray disk?” It was a sincere question.
“Answer me this: Why did you make that disk you showed us in the trial? If the corruption was still inside you, why would you do such a selfless thing?”
I shrugged. “It was never selfless. I thought the Olden Blade would kill Joth, just as it did Lord Endrick. But I also knew there was a chance of failure and that he would take my magic. So I gave myself a way to get the magic back. That black disk contains Endrick’s ability to take a person’s magic by killing them. That was my plan if everything else failed.”
Gabe seemed to be sincere in trying to understand me. “It still is your plan, I assume. You’ll shoot Joth with that disk, and if it kills him, all his powers will come to you.”
“That was my plan at first, but it cannot be me to wield that disk. I am no longer the Infidante. That was proven when I tried to attack Joth with the Olden Blade.”
“And why did you do that? You must have known that if you failed, you would lose all your magic.”
“That was the most selfish part of all. I knew that Joth was fighting Simon, and that Joth would do whatever was necessary to win.” I drew in a slow breath. “I attacked Joth because it was my only chance of saving Simon’s life. Whatever happened to me, I could not let him die.”
“Why not?”
I wished the conversation had gone in any other direction. I pressed my lips together, then said, “You believe that the corruption took me over, that it was the whole of my identity. And you are almost entirely correct about that. Almost.”
Gabe shook his head. “Kestra, I saw you with the corruption. It controlled you.”