“I am,” she said and rubbed her arms. “The woman gives me chills. Once I thought her to be my enemy, but now I almost pity her.”
“You are kindhearted. Most women would hate her for what she has done to you.”
“I did once. Maybe I still should. But I can’t blame her for all of my problems. Many have been caused by myself and—” She stopped and looked down at the ground.
“And your husband?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Gavin.”
Alan stood very close to her. The darkness was rapidly gathering, and he had spent the whole day with her. Maybe it was the delicate light on her hair and eyes, but he knew he couldn’t keep himself from kissing her. He took her chin in his hand and lifted her face. Her lips met his. “Sweet, lovely Judith,” he whispered. “You are too often concerned with others and yourself not enough.” He bent and pressed his lips to hers.
Judith was startled, but she didn’t find Alan’s caress offensive. Nor did she find it particularly exciting. Her eyes stayed open, and she noticed Alan’s lashes on his cheek. His lips were soft and pleasant, but they set no fire in her.
The next moment, the world had opened up and emitted hell. Judith was violently pushed away from Alan, her back slamming into a tree, her senses leaving her briefly. She looked about her dazedly. Alan was on the ground, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He rubbed his jaw, flexing it. Gavin stood over him, then bent as he went for the man again. “Gavin!” Judith screamed and flung herself at her husband.
Gavin carelessly tossed her aside. “Do you dare touch what is mine?” he growled at the knight. “I will take your life for this!”
Alan was on his feet instantly, his hand going for his sword. They glared at each other, not speaking, their nostrils flared in anger.
Judith placed herself between the two men, facing Gavin. “You want to fight for me after you have willingly turned me aside?”
At first Gavin didn’t seem to hear her or even be aware of her presence. Slowly, he pulled his eyes away from Alan to look at his wife. “It wasn’t I who set you aside,” he said calmly. “It was you.”
“It was you who gave me just cause!” she stormed. “It was you who throughout our marriage fought me when I tried to offer you love.”
“You never offered me love,” he said quietly.
Judith stared at him, the anger leaving her. “Gavin, I have done nothing else since we were married. I have tried to do and be what you wanted of me, but you wanted me to be…her! I could be no one but myself.” Judith bent her head to hide her tears.
Gavin took a step toward her, then looked back at Alan with hatred.
Judith felt the tension and glanced up. “If you touch one hair on his head, you will regret it,” she warned.
Gavin frowned and started to speak, then gradually began to smile. “I had begun to think that my Judith was gone,” he whispered. “She was only hidden under a cloak of sweetness.”
Alan coughed to cover the laughter that threatened to escape.
Judith straightened her spine and held her shoulders back as she started to walk away from both men. It disgusted her that both of them were laughing at her.
Gavin watched her for a moment, torn between his fight with Alan Fairfax and his desire for his wife. Judith easily won the tug-of-war. Gavin took three long strides, then pulled her into his arms, sweeping her from the ground. Alan quickly left the two of them alone.
“If you’re not still, I will set you in a tree until you can no longer move.” The horrible threat quieted her. Gavin sat down on the ground with her and pinned her arms between their bodies. “That is better,” he said when she was calmer. “Now I will talk and you will listen. You have humiliated me publicly. No!” he interrupted himself. “Don’t speak until I’m finished. I can withstand your fun of me in my own castle, but I’ve had enough of this in front of the king. By now all of England laughs at me.”
“At least I have some pleasure in that,” Judith said smugly.
“Do you, Judith? Has any of this given you pleasure?”
She blinked rapidly. “No, it hasn’t. But it wasn’t my fault.”
“That’s true. You have been innocent of most of it, but I’ve told you I loved you and I have asked for your forgiveness.”
“And I told you—”
He put two fingers over her lips and smothered her words. “I’m tired of fighting you. You are my wife and my property, and I plan to treat you as such. There will be no divorce.” His eyes blackened. “Neither will there be more afternoons spent with young knights. Tomorrow we’ll leave this gossip-ridden place and return home. There, if need be, I will lock you in a tower room and only I will have a key. It will take a long time to still the laughter throughout England, but it can be done.” He paused but she didn’t speak. “I’m sorry about the trick Alice played, and I shed my own tears over our lost son. But a divorce now won’t change the past. I can only hope that soon I will get you with another child and that will heal your wound. But if you think it won’t, it will not matter, for I am to have my own way.”
Gavin had said all of this in a deliberate manner. Judith didn’t answer, but lay quietly in his arms. “Don’t you have anything to say?” he asked.
“And what would I say? I don’t believe I’m allowed an opinion.”