“I’m my own person, Lucy, with a college degree. This is me.”
“She loves her job,” I told her.
Mari slightly shrugged. “I like her, too, but this is business, nothing personal.”
“Now you sound like Lyric,” I huffed. “All business, no heart.”
“She has heart, Lucy. The two of you together just never really worked.”
I cocked an eyebrow, flabbergasted by Mari backing up Lyric. “She left her child, Mari.”
“We all make mistakes.”
“Yes.” I nodded slowly, still confused. “But a mistake is spilling milk, burning a pizza, missing an anniversary. Walking out on your newborn child who was in the NICU for weeks? Staying gone when the child is fully okay? That’s not a mistake—that’s a choice.”
She grimaced. “I just think it’s odd how involved you are with it all. I mean, you didn’t even know Graham, and it’s clear that you and Lyric have your issues. Why make things worse? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not normal.”
“You could get to know her more too, you know. She’s your niece, our niece. We are throwing her a first birthday party next weekend…maybe if you come, you’ll understand.”
“We are throwing her a party? We? Don’t you see how that’s weird? Lucy, she’s not your daughter.”
“I know that. I’m just helping Graham—”
“You’re living with him.”
“You kicked me out!”
She shook her head. “I didn’t kick you out exactly, and I definitely didn’t push you into his home. Your heart did that.”
“Stop,” I said, my voice growing low as a knot formed in my stomach.
Mari gave me her knowing stare. “Lucy, I know you’re falling for him.”
I blinked away some tears that were trying to fall. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“You’re making a mistake. He was with Lyric. She’s your sister,” Mari exclaimed. “I know you live by your emotions, but this isn’t right.”
I bit my bottom lip, feeling my anger building. “Oh, right, because you are the world’s most knowledgeable on what a relationship should look like.”
“A relationship?” she hissed. “Lucy, you’re not in a relationship with Graham Russell. I know this will hurt to hear, but I get Lyric when it comes to you. You’re too much like Mama. You’re too free, and freedom can be suffocating. If you settle down, don’t settle for him. He’s not yours to love.”
I didn’t know what to do. The burning in my chest was so painful. I parted my lips to speak, but no sound came out. I couldn’t think of the words I needed to say, so I turned around and left.
It didn’t take long for me to find myself in nature. I headed to my favorite running trail, took a deep breath in, and let a heavy breath out before I started to run. I ran through the trees, allowing the air to slap against my skin as I ran faster and faster, trying to rid myself of the hurt and confusion.
Part of me hated Mari for the words she spoke, but another part wondered how right she was.
In my mind, I played out the fairy tale of what Graham and I would be. Selfishly, I thought how it could be if maybe someday our love led to forever. Selfishly, I allowed myself to feel completely.
I was a dreamer, like my mother, and while I’d always adored that fact, I was slowly beginning to see her flaws. She floated more than she walked, skipped more than she stood, and no matter what, she never faced reality.
So, whenever reality came for her, she was always alone.
That terrified me—being alone.
But not being with Graham and Talon terrified me more than anything.
When I arrived at Graham’s house, I didn’t have the nerve to walk inside. Even the run hadn’t cleared my mind, so instead, I went and sat in the backyard near Ollie’s tree. I sat with my legs crossed, staring at the tiny tree that had so many years of growth to go. I stayed there for seconds, minutes, hours. It wasn’t until the sun started setting that Graham joined me outside. He was dressed in a perfectly fitted suit and looked out of this world amazing. I felt awful missing our date, but I knew due to my emotions I wouldn’t have been ready to go out with him. Mari put more guilt in my heart than I knew I could hold. Maybe I was being naïve about the way Graham made me feel…maybe I was being foolish.