All at once the boys screamed, their throats probably burning. “AH!”
“I didn’t even know you put us on YouTube, Cal!” Brooks shouted; shouting was the only thing any of them could do. The guys were so anti-mainstream because they always said they were indie and cool, until mainstream knocked on their door and they lost their minds.
“I didn’t!”
“Was it you, Rudolph? Oli?” Brooks asked.
“No,” the twins said in unison.
“Then who…” He slowly turned my way, and I gave him a small smile. The guys all turned at the same time and stared at me with knowing eyes. “You did it? The videos you recorded of us?”
I nodded slowly and within seconds, everyone’s arms were wrapped tightly around me, jumping up and down.
“You’re so fucking amazing, Maggie!” Oliver said, giving me a noogie.
“Holy crap, Mags, you have no clue how much you’ve just changed our lives,” Calvin said.
“Dude!” Oliver started waving his arms at Calvin. “Read them the direct message.”
“There’s a direct message?” Brooks asked.
“Oh.” Calvin nodded ecstatically, scrolling through his phone. “There’s a direct message.” He cleared his throat and the twins cleared theirs, too, having it fully memorized.
“Dear Calvin, I’m Mark, the manager of The Present Yesterdays. We came across your videos a few days ago and haven’t stopped watching. Your sound is clean, crisp, and something the industry is missing. If you’re interested, I’d love to set up a meeting with you guys to chat about your future plans in music. Peace!” The three quoted it in perfect unison, and my heart pretty much jumped from my chest.
The Present Yesterdays was the greatest pop-rock band of our time. The guys had introduced me to their music, and I’d been in love with them before the world even knew they existed. How was any of this possible?
Brooks turned to his bandmates with the widest eyes, and I saw it take over them, too—the realization that dreams really did come true, even for boys who rehearsed in garages in small-town Wisconsin. The wave of emotion took over us all as we began to jump around the room and celebrate.
I’d never been so happy to see others’ dreams start to come to life. “This is all because of you, Magnet,” Brooks said, pulling me into his chest. “It’s because you used your voice for us to be heard.”
He reminded me that night that I had a voice, even though no words ever left my mouth.
I still had a voice.
The next evening my hour-long bath lasted longer than normal. I had the same type of routine as before: I’d read, I’d wash up, and then I’d slide under the water and remember what had happened in those woods, reminding myself that it wasn’t my fault. My mind was still so good at holding onto those images, but recently the visions were being blurred by more current memories.
Whenever I tried to envision the devil’s face, I’d see Cheryl laughing with a book in her hand. Whenever I was running in the woods, I’d see myself running into Brooks’ arms. Whenever I’d trip, I’d see Mrs. Boone scolding me.
They weren’t gone, the bad memories. I knew my mind still held the image of the devil, but I was becoming better at keeping him locked inside the closet. I wasn’t certain if that was thanks to Brooks, Cheryl, or time, but either way, I was thankful.
After I’d remember, I’d come up for air, take a deep breath, and go back under to dream.
I’d dream of a future. I’d dream of me exploring the world, climbing mountains, seeing Italy, trying snails in France. Watching Brooks and my brother perform live in a huge arena. Having a family. Discovering what it means to be alive. The water cleansed me of the darkness that was trying so hard to hold on to me. I was slowly becoming renewed. I was beginning my life for the first time…
“Maggie—I got you some fresh… Oh my gosh!” Mama screeched, running into the bathroom and pulling me up from beneath the water. Her rapid movement forced me to open my mouth, making me inhale water. I started coughing, my throat burning as I spit up. What was happening? Mama’s hands were shaking and she started screaming, holding me in her arms. My ears were filled with water and I tried to shake it out as she hollered for Daddy.
“Eric! Eric!” she cried, her voice more panicked than it needed to be. What was she doing? Why was she freaking out? Did she think…
Oh my God, no.
No, Mama. I wasn’t trying to drown. I wasn’t trying to drown myself. Tears flooded my eyes as I saw the panic she was experiencing. She pulled me from the tub, wrapp
ing me in towels. As she cried, still screaming Daddy’s name, he came running into the bathroom.
The water in my ears made it hard to listen. I tried to stand, but Mama was holding me so tight.
So tight.