“I don’t like this,” he said.
“I’m fine. It’s why I can enjoy a really good lunch.” She nibbled at her toast and he saw she drank a glass of water.
“You’re really content to eat just that?”
“It settles my stomach.” She patted her abdomen. “I’m hoping one day he or she will let me eat something more substantial. I like to start my day with a good meal.”
“This is really good.” He felt guilty for being able to eat, but he shoveled the food in, thankful for something good. On the road, he’d eaten his fair share of greasy diner food, and not all of it was good.
Ava finished her toast and water. “I’ve got to head out to the bakery. I’ll be back later tonight.” She reached into her pocket. “If you’d lock up and hand me back the key.”
“Ava, you’re going to trust me with this?”
“I don’t have a choice. I could kick you out, but that seems mean. Besides, you’re my baby’s daddy. I’m not going to be mean.” She forced a smile. “I hope you feel better.”
Smokey wanted to say something to get her to stay, to talk to him, but once again, he drew a blank. He had nothing good to say and Ava, she needed her space.
The moment he heard the door close, her entire house felt so empty, and he hated it. He finished his breakfast. Cleaned the dishes and wiped down her kitchen. He walked upstairs, and rather than use the spare bedroom, he didn’t even look at it. He went straight to her room. Lying down on her bed, he breathed her in, and for a few short hours, he could pretend she was right there with him.
Chapter Seventeen
“I don’t need anything too big,” Ava said, several days later.
She stood in the baby store with Smokey. They had yet to settle on a single crib. She’d already started to decorate the spare bedroom in her spare time. When her baby arrived, she wanted to be ready. Being a busy businesswoman, she knew how little time she’d have when it finally arrived.
“It’s not that big. What if we have a large baby? You’re going to want room for them to grow.”
“How big do you think this baby is going to be?” she asked, laughing.
“I don’t know.” He reached out as if to touch her stomach and held himself back.
They stood in a store with all kinds of couples around them.
“Do you … do you want to touch it?” she asked.
He looked into her eyes and shrugged.
She chuckled. Ava didn’t give herself time to regret her decision. Reaching for his hand, she placed it on her stomach. The last few days, the weather had been changing between cold and hot. Today was one of the last days of the warm weather and by the end of the week, a snowstorm had been forecast.
Ava tensed up as Smokey’s hand curled around her protruding stomach.
“See. It’s not so big right now.”
Smokey stared into her eyes.
The world faded away.
“Can I help you pick something out?” the sales assistant asked.
“Fuck off.” Smokey growled at the man to make him leave.
She gasped and found it amusing as the man quickly rushed off as if he was being chased by some kind of monster.
The world came back in full focus and Smokey cursed.
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to touch you?”
His words brought the image of him touching her all over. She wasn’t disgusted or hurt. Her body came to life.
“If you want to, all you need to do is ask.”
“I fucked up, Ava, big time.”
She stepped away.
“I don’t want to have to ask to touch you.” He came toward her, resting his palm on her shoulder. “There are days all I can think about is touching you. Holding you in my arms.”
Most nights, she woke up feeling the same way. She didn’t tell him that though. “We need to make a decision on the crib and everything, Smokey.”
He sighed.
They made their way around the store and finally, Ava saw the perfect one. It was an oak crib. Cushions lined the sides and it looked perfect.
Smokey organized everything. The furniture, unfortunately, didn’t come pre-made. Boxes would arrive, which acquired assembly.
They sat down at a café, ordered some lunch, and Smokey smiled at her.
“What?”
“I’ll build everything. You don’t have a problem. We’ll pick a room and get everything set up.”
“I already have a room designed.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Yes.” She told him about the spare bedroom. “Didn’t you see it when you slept there?”
“I used your sofa. It didn’t seem right going upstairs.”
“Oh, okay.” Their food arrived. She’d settled on a salad bagel while Smokey went with cheese fries.
She took a bite of her food, feeling the hunger hit her hard.
They didn’t talk, enjoying their food, and then Smokey paid the bill.