Smokey chuckled. “You think I’m in love with Ava.”
“It shouldn’t hurt.”
“What?”
“If you don’t have any feelings for Ava whatsoever, none of this should hurt. You shouldn’t feel a damn thing. My question to you, Smokey, is do you?”
He stared at Ugly Beast.
Even though they’d had their differences, he still considered him a friend, even outside of the club.
“You can’t even admit your feelings to me.”
“I don’t know what I feel for Ava right now.”
“She’s innocent. Your decision, your lack of trust did this. How does that make you feel?”
“Like I want to hit something and to keep on hitting it until there’s nothing left. I want to destroy Creed.”
“And you don’t think that comes from some feeling for her?” Ugly Beast asked.
“When did you become some kind of expert?”
“Since I fell in love with my wife and have the most perfect daughter in the world. I don’t know why you picked me to marry Abriana. You’ve got your reasonings, and now, it doesn’t matter to me. She’s the love of my life. You gave that to me. One day, I hope you’re able to feel something for a woman besides anger.”
Ugly Beast made his way outside of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
What did he feel for Ava?
Guilt. That was a big one.
Loss. He’d fucked up.
Love. He stopped.
She’d told him she loved him. She hadn’t expected anything from him. No reciprocation of that love. She’d just told him how she felt.
That love had come out of nowhere.
You love her.
Smokey refused to listen.
Ava’s smiling face invaded his mind. The way she moaned. His name falling from her lips. Her touch.
All of it ran through his mind, threatening to consume him. He ached for her.
Then he thought of the way she’d scurried away from him. The pain in her eyes.
Last night, before he’d made his presence known, he’d heard her sob.
He’d done that. No one else. He was responsible for hurting her, and it killed him.
He wanted to protect her. To show her that she could trust him.
Instead, there was nothing he could do. When she’d needed him most, he’d trusted the lies of the camera. Creed had done this on purpose, and rather than trust her, he’d figured she was lying to him.
He was the monster in her world, no one else.
After picking up the gavel, he launched it across the room. One by one, he threw the chairs out of his way. One of them crashed into the window, smashing it.
He didn’t care. Rage coursed through him. He was used to the feeling, but not this strong. This was something more. It didn’t scare him.
Feeding that anger, he trashed the room, taking anything down that stood in his way. He completely tore it apart, not caring what survived or not.
No one came to stop him. They left him alone as he tossed the table into the air. When there was nothing left, he stood, staring around at the mess he’d created.
Books were thrown everywhere. Chairs were broken. The table was as well.
Again, he didn’t care. No matter what he did, or how he destroyed something, he was not going to get back his woman. She was lost to him forever.
Collapsing to the ground, he pressed his face against the palms of his hands. Fear and sadness worked together in his hands. He’d lost the one good thing in his life.
Ava. The only woman he’d ever loved.
He fucking loved her and now it was too late to tell her how much. He’d destroyed her. There was no coming back from that. It didn’t matter how many rooms he trashed. Ava was lost to him.
His cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was Hanson.
Smokey didn’t even realize he’d been crying until a single teardrop landed on his cell phone.
He wiped at his eyes and took the call. “What?” he asked.
“She called a cab and I followed her.”
“Where is she?”
His heart raced at the thought of her leaving town.
“She’s in the bakery and … they didn’t leave anything alone, Smokey. The place is torn up. The windows smashed in. All of it is destroyed. What do you want me to do?” Hanson asked.
“I’ll be there in a minute.” He hung up.
The bakery. He’d forgotten about that. Kinky and Brick had gone back to take care of it.
The town would know she was on the club’s shit list. When he didn’t think it could get any worse, it did.
Ava didn’t deserve this. She never did.
Feeling like a fucking monster, he left the church and ignored the people who watched him leave.
He had to get to Ava’s. She was going to be so upset. All her life, she’d wanted to own that bakery. She had told him all about that dream. Derek had stopped her from seeing it, and now he’d stopped her from even being able to live it.