Spinning around, she collapsed in a heap and allowed the tears to fall.
All it had taken was a single day. Not even that long. She’d woken up that morning so happy with the world and with her life. After ten years of misery, she’d found happiness. Now it had been stripped away.
She didn’t know what was worse, finding Derek cheating, or this.
Ava rubbed at her chest. No, this had to be the worst. She’d never felt so empty, so lost, so alone.
For the first time since her parents died, she wished they were here. She didn’t know what to do.
The life she thought she’d been building had been swept out from beneath her.
“Ava,” Smokey said.
She jerked up. “What are you doing here?”
“I have a key.”
“Leave the key and get out.” Her hand shook as she tried to open the door to make him leave.
He pressed his body against her back, and she screamed, throwing herself away from him.
She saw the pain in his eyes but didn’t care. “Get out.”
“We need to talk.”
“No. We’re done talking. I’ve got nothing to say to you.”
Smokey kept on staring at her. She couldn’t handle it, so she looked at the floor. At anything but him.
He was a monster. He’d destroyed her.
“Get out.” She repeated it so he’d listen to her. This wasn’t a joke to her, or a game. He’d hurt her in the worst possible way.
“I brought your clothes back.”
She frowned. “My clothes?”
“I packed up some of your stuff.”
Her heart broke. “You were going to kill me.”
Smokey’s jaw clenched.
“I’m sorry to have disappointed you that you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“It wasn’t an easy choice.”
“Sure it was.” She clicked her fingers. “One fire of a bullet. You could have stabbed me. There are any number of things you could have done to me.” She pressed her lips together even as more tears flooded her eyes. “Leave.”
“I thought—”
“I know what you thought. What you and your whole club thought. There’s no way you could have ever imagined a woman, someone like me, showing you loyalty.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t do this now. I don’t want to. You’ve got to leave.”
“Not until I know you’re okay.”
Ava started to laugh. “Okay? You want to know if I’m okay?” She bent over as if it was the most hysterical thing she’d ever heard. “Look at me, Smokey. I’m not okay. Nothing about this is okay.” She kept on repeating the same word. She took a deep breath. “We’re done. We’re through.”
“Ava?”
He went to touch her, and she backed away. “Don’t you dare touch me. After what you did and said, you have no right.”
Smokey stopped, hand clenched into a fist.
She stared at him, not sure what exactly he wanted.
“How are you?”
Ava shook her head. “Please, just leave.”
“I need to know that you’re all right.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and then snorted. “I can’t do this with you. I don’t want to do this with you. Please, I need you to leave.”
“Ava.”
“Get the fuck out!” She screamed at him. Why wasn’t he listening to her? After everything he’d done, she wanted him gone as far away from her as humanly possible. The clubhouse even seemed too close.
Her heart was broken.
“I know you love me,” he said.
“Yeah, and the story of my life is that you will never love me. Club comes first. Even when an innocent woman is begging for you to stop.” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Get out.” She was growing tired of repeating herself around him.
He stayed perfectly still. She couldn’t even see out of one eye. Her hand hurt and the doctor had given her some pain medication to help her sleep. She’d been advised to take it easy and to rest.
All she wanted to do was make herself a hot cup of chocolate and go curl up beneath a warm blanket. Anything beat being near him.
“Ava, please.”
“You’re not even going to apologize to me. No I’m sorry.”
“I did say I was sorry.”
“It’s not good enough. If you really regret what happened, then leave. I don’t want to see you or any member of your club again. I’m begging you to go.”
He still didn’t move as it looked like he wanted to say something, and Ava hated herself as she collapsed to her knees. “Is this what it’s going to take? My body is broken. I told you that you could trust me, and still, you didn’t believe me. I’ve never done anything to warrant your treatment, Smokey. Now, get out. I don’t want you near me. I don’t want to even talk to you. Do me this respect and get the fuck out.” She pressed her hands together, almost begging him, and she saw his teeth were gritted.
She didn’t care.
He had to leave. There was no way she wanted him near her.