Recalling opening my palms and letting that small bird fly free . . .
I couldn’t help but smile as I wandered back through the maze, marveling at how well I knew its pathways, forwards and backwards, and its leafy corridors that led me out into the garden.
I paused for a beat to soak in the sun.
No longer searching for vengeance. My life absorbed with trying to make sure the girls in my life were happy.
Back then, when all those walls came crashing down. After Glassman had died in the swamp. After Victoria had left New Orleans. Even after her children had stayed. I had begun a new life.
Alone.
Content.
Anya and I weren’t married right away.
What I knew with a stark realization was that after the life she had endured, she needed to make her own choices. And because I loved her, I gave that to her. Although I fought against the urge to demand she live with me right away, I didn’t.
I gave her time.
Anya and Archie had rented a house near Tulane University. She’d always wanted to study English, and it was there, in this prestigious institute, that she did. She wanted to see what being independent was.
I threw myself into the business, though more recently I had found a CEO who could take our company to the next level so I could pursue studying music, reading more, and rebuilding the chapel. I wanted no part of it to be recognizable. I’d wanted more time with Anya.
For a year, we were a normal couple.
It took everything I had inside me not to become a caveman and demand she come home, but I bit back that impulse and instead, waited for her to come to me.
And she did, eventually.
It only took a year. The longest year of my life, if I’m going to be honest.
Once she finished a normal college freshman year experience, she made me teach her how to drive. Then, after she’d garnered full independence, she felt ready for her and Archie to move in with me full-time and she would commute to Tulane.
Under my roof, I coaxed her to marry me, and she said yes. I didn’t give her much choice.
“What are you smirking at over there?” I heard my wife say from across the clearing of grass.
I stepped farther out onto the stretch of green in the middle of the maze and headed toward them. Toward Anya, who was standing with our daughter, cheering with each step she took. “Hurry up, she’s about to launch!”
“Taking her first steps?” I hurried closer.
“Wait. She’s changed her mind. Don’t hold your breath.”
“She’s ready,” I said.
She laughed. “Don’t pressure her.”
“Like I pressured you? Pretended to give you a choice? But you were always going to be my wife.”
She laughed out loud while rolling her eyes. “I knew how hard it was for you to back down and not act all caveman on my ass. That’s why I love you so much.”
“I thought you loved me for all the wicked things I do to you. . .” I trailed off, teasing her.
Her cheeks became bright red.
After everything we’d been through, the fact Anya still blushed was probably one of my favorite things about her.
No matter how awful her life had once been, there is still a sweet and innocent quality about her.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she giggled, “I’m trying to get our daughter to walk.”
“Here, let me help.” I moved to sit opposite them, lowering to my knees, lifting my hands up to encourage her to come my way.
“Come to me, Grace. Come on.” She carried my mom’s name, and in so many ways, she was like her—the same beauty, same kindness, an easy grace to her.
When Anya had suggested it, she’d moved me to tears.
“Dada,” Grace cooed, and then on shaky feet . . . she toddled over to me.
Joy rushed in as we watched her brave steps forward. When she made it the few feet between us, Anya clapped her hands in joy as our daughter wrapped her arms around my neck.
Grace hugged me. “Dada.”
“I’ll never get used to that.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathed through this happiness coming too hard and too fast.
I planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”
I felt Anya behind me before I saw her. I could always sense her presence. Like we were inextricably connected and always had been. She was my way through the maze of life, too.
Anya and Grace were everything I needed.
All I wanted.