She shut the fridge door. Her head bowed, eyes down.
“What?” Dread circled my feet as though the ground might open and swallow me whole.
“We can play these games, sweetheart,” she said coldly. “Or we can be honest with each other.”
Swallowing, I waited for her to continue.
“We saw you with him at Mardi Gras.” Her hand snapped up to silence me. “After your father retaliated.”
Cold slithered up my spine as she faced me.
“You were observed running away. Disappearing into the crowd with him. You went willingly.”
“You pulled your hand away,” I said bitterly.
“I’ve already told you—”
“Am I allowed to leave this house now?”
“The risk is even greater.”
“You can’t keep me a prisoner anymore.”
“How dare you!”
“I won’t go back to living like that.”
“Like what? Like a princess? Given everything you could possibly need? Toys, games, clothes.”
“You never let us out of the house.”
“I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you from that monster. God knows we tried.”
“Let me speak to Archie.” I held out my hand. “Call him. Get him on the line.”
“We know, darling.” She smirked. “And we know you know.”
“About?”
“What your father does for a living.”
A chill washed over me, my flesh crawling with dread. Maybe she was bluffing. It was hard to tell with her.
“I don’t care about any of that,” I managed.
She stepped forward. “And the last thing we want is you sharing that knowledge with anyone else.”
“I would never . . .”
“Archie shared with us a small detail about you both. That you know you’re adopted.”
And he’d been rewarded with a black and blue eye for it.
“You never told us,” I muttered. “Why?”
“To protect you.”
“How many times did I tell you I had memories of a different time? Of snow. Of a building that was the Kremlin, for God’s sake. You told me I’d dreamed it.”
“I never wanted you to feel we didn’t love you.”
“Where are my real parents?”
“Dead.”
“Dead?”
My heart squeezed for the loss even though I’d never known them. All those ruminations about getting to meet them, about finally being reunited with my family.
“Anya, I didn’t want this to be so raw. You’ve pushed my hand.”
My throat tightened at the way she’d delivered it so cruelly. My past wrapped up into a few words that meant nothing. Not to her, anyway. Not delivered with kindness, no stories of my birth mother and how she’d tried to do anything but give me up.
“What did you do to him?” I whispered it. “To Archie?”
She dragged in a deep breath. “Archie was fishing for clues. Did he tell you what he found?”
Oh, God.
“What did you do to him?”
“Daddy sat him down and encouraged him to share everything that was on his mind.”
They were fucking psychopaths.
Through gritted teeth, I said, “If you hurt him . . .”
“He’s my son. I love him.”
“But he’s not, is he?” This wave couldn’t be tamed. “I meant not your firstborn.”
“You don’t know the full story.”
“You mean about the other children? The ones before us.”
“We were heartbroken. We were wrong to try to use you to replace them.” She leaned on the kitchen counter. “Try to understand.”
“How did they die?”
“By Cassius’s hand.”
Horror stretched through me. “No, he didn’t.”
He wouldn’t.
“He got to you, sweetheart. I was scared he would. And he did. He made you believe all sorts of things. I can see that now.”
My legs buckled, but I didn’t want any help from her.
“When he saw that Stephen and I had built another life for ourselves with new, beautiful children, he wanted to rip that away from us too.”
“He was fourteen,” I said.
“And capable of so much cruelty.”
Hugging myself, I didn’t know who to believe anymore, didn’t know which way to turn, or what to do next.
“I went to Lafayette Cemetery,” I admitted. “I saw their tombs.”
“You shouldn’t have gone without me.” She offered a kind smile. “I didn’t tell you because I knew it would scare you. Knowing that our first children were murdered. That it could happen to you. I didn’t want you to live with that.”
“You should have told us.”
“Come with me. We can put flowers on their tombs. Put this all behind us.”
“Why would I go there?” With you.
“Because they were your brother and sister.”
“How did they die?”
She glanced toward the door. “We can’t have your father overhear us talking about this.”
“The garden then.”
“I need to walk. Come with me. I’ll tell you everything about what Cassius did to us. How he destroyed our family.”
“Mom?” No, I refused to believe it.
“It’s not your fault. That man twisted what you believe.”
Confusion warped my thoughts as I tried to decipher the lies from the truth.
“I was young when I married your father. Your age. Just as trusting. Wanting to see the best in people.” She softened. “I love you. I’d do anything for you.”
“But when Archie asked about our adoption, Dad punished him for it?”
“Your father’s not good with his emotions. His biggest flaw. But if I can forgive him, so can you.”