He doesn’t argue, and when I get into the driver’s seat, he tells me, “I’m off tomorrow. I’ll take an Uber to get it.”
I nod. “Where do you live?”
He rambles off his address, and it only takes me ten minutes to get from the bar to his rancher in a large subdivision on the east side of town. I nudge his shoulder as we pull into the driveway. “Is this it?”
He nods and gets out, walking unsteadily around the car. “Do you like it? I had hoped when I bought it that it was something you would like.”
He walks up the walkway and unlocks the front door, so I have no choice but to follow him. “It’s beautiful, Patton,” I tell him as I take in the large, vaulted ceilings, big furniture, and open concept.
He walks in and leans heavily against the back of the couch. “Come here, Cora.”
I walk over to him slowly. When I get a few feet away, I stop. He shakes his head and reaches for me, pulling me until I’m leaning into him and my body is plastered to the front of his. He takes a deep breath, threading his fingers through my hair, and he buries his nose into my neck. We stand there just like that, and I don’t move a muscle. Being in Patton’s arms is all I’ve wanted this past year. This would have made everything so much easier. “Patton.”
He inhales deeply, his chest rubbing across the already hard peaks of my nipples. “Cora, you don’t know how much I wish things were different.”
I lean back, but his hold tightens on me. He lifts his head, and I look at him. We’re so close, I can smell the whiskey on his breath. “He’s gone, Patton, and it’s not your fault. He wouldn’t want you to live like this.”
His hand moves to the base of my neck, and he forces my head backwards. I’m staring at him, wishing he would kiss me but also knowing if he does, he’s going to regret it. “Talk to me, Patton.”
He takes a deep breath. “I’ve tried to forget you since the day I met you. I didn’t want to betray your brother, but fuck I haven’t been able to forget about you... or that kiss.”
“You’re not betraying my brother,” I tell him, losing patience with his way of thinking.
He shakes his head, and I swear he looks as if someone’s holding a knife to his stomach by the way his face is all twisted up. “If you knew the thoughts I had you would say otherwise.”
I want to ask him what his thoughts are because I can almost guarantee they are the same or similar to mine. I’ve dreamt about him every night for four years, but now is not the time to think about it or to even have this discussion. I grab on to the collar of his shirt and hold tight. I shouldn’t take advantage of the state he’s in, but I’ve thought about this for ages now, and I can’t pass up the opportunity. “Will you do something for me, Patton?”
He licks his lips and nods.
“Chances are you’ll forget this tomorrow, but I have to know...”
“Know what?” he asks, searching my face for answers.
I jut my chin at him. “I need you to kiss me. I need to...” I stop and shake my head. “I’ve been living on memories for so long, I need something real, something I can feel.”
I know my words affect him. I know he’s thinking about his time in the service, about Cole and Jeremy and Jason, but I know Patton, and he’s not going to tell me no. “Yeah, honey.”
He takes his time. He brushes the hair off my face, he runs his finger across my cheek and his thumb across my lower lip. I start to pant in anticipation because I want his lips on mine so badly right now.
He leans in, only hesitating for a second before he seals his lips to mine. I don’t dare move for fear that he’ll stop, but I soon find out there’s no chance when he angles his head and deepens the kiss. I moan because how could I not? I’ve thought of nothing else except for Patton and how he makes me feel, and the real thing is ten times better than the memories. His hands are on each side of my neck, and I move so that I can slide my arms around his waist. He ravages my mouth with his, and all I can do is whimper at his loving touch.
When he does pull away, we’re both breathing heavily, and I rest my forehead on his chest. I want so much more from him, but I know it’s more than he’s ready to give. Reluctantly, I step back from him and move to the front door. I look back at him, and he’s staring after me in a daze. “I’ll see you at work.”