Alex suddenly wrapped her arms around her friend and brought her in for a rare embrace. Lila did not pull away. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want this.”
“I know you didn’t want to end up here either.” Lila held her friend tightly, her lips twitching in a smile. For the first time, she felt like Alex might forgive her someday. “I’m sorry I was a beast earlier. I’m throwing a tantrum, just like a child.”
“Yes, you are.” Alex nodded, giving her one last squeeze before pulling away. “But I remember what it’s like to be suckered into doing what your mother wills. Our lives aren’t that bad, are they? Neither of us lack for anything. Even though I’m a slave, I’ll never have to sit in a nursing home at the end of my life, half senile, wondering what might have happened if I had just dared to strike out on my own. I’ll know that I tried to break free and that I got what I wanted, at least for a little while. I’ll smile to look back on it. You will too when you think of the security office.”
“No regrets, then?”
“No. My mother might have done what she did anyway, without the excuse of producing an heir. Perhaps I’d be in a Bullstow holding cell right now because she made me do things against my will. If I do have a regret, it’s that I wasn’t a better businesswoman. Grace Medical might have survived its first few years if I’d just been smarter, if I had moved farther away, if my elder sisters hadn’t died and painted a target on my back. I should have sold Grace Medical the second I heard the news. You offered to buy it and let me run it. I should have listened.”
“Alex—”
“I didn’t realize the scope of the game at that point. I was too young to understand, even though I’d watched my mother all my life. I’d seen what you did with Randolph General, what you were still doing, and I wanted to do the same. I thought I could. You always made it look so easy. I thought that if I was focused as you were, if I skipped all the parties that you had to skip, that it would all just happen somehow.”
“I had a lot of help that you didn’t have.”
“I had help, too. I just didn’t listen to anyone. I was too eager and impatient. I kept pushing. I wanted to show you up, to prove that I was worthy of your friendship. We could have done great things together, my medical research company paired with your hospital.”
“We are doing great things. I kept the name.”
“I know.” A sad smile broke over Alex’s face. “I took off at a run before I knew how to walk. There’s some small part of me that’s relieved about the whole thing, though. I wouldn’t have been able to do it in the end, Lila. I wouldn’t have been able to take over the family and bring it to prominence. Call it what you want, call it my own temperament, call it poor training on my mother’s part. Whatever excuse you devise for me, I know that I would have been the reason that it all came tumbling down. I have some sympathy for Jewel in that respect. Try to remember that when you look at her. Cut her some slack now and again, will you?”
“I would have helped, you know. You could have come to me whenever you needed. The Wilson family and the Randolphs would have become better allies under your leadership.”
“I know.”
“The biggest mistake your mother ever made was driving you away. She was a fool for it. My mother and I might not get along, we might not understand each other, but she’s never driven me away. Going to the security office never had anything to do with her or the heirdom,” Lila said, turning back to the rack.
“You and your mother respect each other. She treats you as an equal because you are her equal. Perhaps her only equal.”
Lila traced her fingers down a silken sleeve and shook her head. “That’s not true, it’s—”
“I won’t ever forget what you did for me. I suspect if you hadn’t convinced your mother about my uses, then I would be cleaning toilets or worse instead of helping you dress right now. It’s what the other families would have done. They would have thought it a fitting punishment.”
“My mother favors boldness, as do I. It did not take all that much convincing for her to see your potential. When it’s in my power to decide, you won’t be carrying trays anymore. One of the few good things to come out of this whole affair is that I’ll have more of a voice now. I’ll be able to offer you more, perhaps get your mark back even if the Slave Bill doesn’t pass.”
Lila could not read Alex’s expression. Her friend stared at the floor with a small smile on her face as though she didn’t dare say a word and spoil the promise.
“I’ll be late,” Lila said, nudging her friend after a time. “Help me pick a dress.”
The two women turned back to the rack of clothes and stared at Lila’s choices. It was as though they were back in the dorms at Bokington, getting ready for the first party of the school year. Alex shook her head at Lila’s plain selections and dug back into the fray, managing to find a luxurious crimson dress that suggested it might not be too uncomfortable for Lila’s pragmatic sensibilities, yet still seemed to be one of the most expensive of the bunch. “This one is far more elegant and fitting for a prime. You’ll have to get used to leaving your militia clothes behind, Lila. You’re not storming a rival’s compound.”
“Are you sure?”
“Okay, fine. You’ll be doing a different sort of storming, then you’ll tell me all about it later.”
Lila donned the silk dress, a comfortable sheath that showed her arms and legs to good advantage and would not compete against any of the coats on the rack. She shimmied out of it a moment later so that Alex could put her hair into a loose, intricate bun and finish her makeup while she ate her salad.
Then Alex tried on a few dresses too.
When Lila had no more time left to dawdle, Lila donned the dress once more. She tried on several long crimson coats until Alex stopped her with a cartoonish whistle of approval. Lila laughed and spun in front of the mirror, agreeing on the heavily tailored coat. It was so beautiful and elegant that she could have buckled it and worn it alone. It actually didn’t look that dissimilar from her blackcoat.
“Now for heels,” Alex said, rummaging through Lila’s collection of barely worn dress shoes.
“Heels, why heels? I want to wear boots so I can dance.”
“Oh, Lila, we were doing so well. Don’t you want to look your best?”
“I told you, no one is going to want to fuck me for my looks. Certainly not for the shoes I’m wearing.”