Never mind anything except that she was dressed and arranged for Jason’s lustful gaze and he would soon be transferring all the fantasies she represented into reality.
‘Yeah, that look on your face, that’s what I want,’ he said approvingly. ‘Keep it just that way. Show me you want it.’
Immediately Jenna was overcome by self-consciousness. Was her expression so blatant? Did she look slutty? A silly question, perhaps, given what she was wearing, but she couldn’t help thinking that these sketches might be viewed one day, many years in the future, by art students and people in galleries. What on earth would they think of her?
‘No, what’s up?’ Jason put down his charcoal in dismay. ‘You’ve gone all prim and proper.’
‘Sorry. I just had this vision of people in the future looking at this picture and thinking I’m a right old slapper.’
Jason made a noise of frustration, then came over to her, crouching in front of the chaise and looking sternly into her eyes.
‘First of all,’ he said, ‘less of the old.’
‘I’m thirty-five. Practically middle-aged. This isn’t exactly dignified for a woman of my age.’
‘For fuck’s sake, Jen, thirty-five is not middle-aged.’
‘It is in Hollywood. Women my age are all over the Botox doctors and plastic surgeons, all looking for failsafe ways to defy gravity and time.’
‘Forget Hollywood. Forget having to be a teenage Barbie doll for your whole life. I wouldn’t want that anyway. You’re young, you’re gorgeous and all those people in the future will have the hots for you, just like I have.’
‘But … don’t you think they’ll think I’m a bit …’
‘A bit what? Sexy? Hell, yes.’
‘No, not sexy. Trashy. Easy. Whatever.’
Jason’s dark eyes widened and his face settled into what Jenna tended to think of as his ‘before the spanking’ look.
‘Did you really mean to call my work trashy, babe?’ he said.
‘No,’ she said quickly, her heart beginning to race. ‘Not your work. Me. Lying here in this slutty underwear with a come-hither look in my eye. You couldn’t really see the Queen posing like this, could you? Be honest.’
He spluttered into laughter.
‘I really, really don’t want to,’ he said. ‘But you’ve put that in my head now. Jesus, Jen. Thanks for that. But I’ve got a little bit of news for you. You’re not the Queen.’
‘Well, I know that, but I’m a public figure. I have to take care of my image, just like she does.’
‘I’ve told you, nobody’s going to see these until after we’re dead, unless you want them to. Besides, what’s wrong with the world knowing you love what I do to you? It’s the truth, isn’t it? Art and truth should go hand in hand.’
‘It’s the truth,’ she said softly. ‘But it’s private too.’
He pursed his lips, and she could see that he was deep in thought.
‘Don’t you think,’ he said, taking her hand, ‘that there should be more love in the world?’
‘What?’
‘Don’t you think it’s good to give the world this … this passion of ours? As an example. So people long after us will see what it was … in case it, I don’t know, dies out or something. In case the world changes into a place where there isn’t any love. Don’t you think it’s important to keep a record of …?’ He broke off, unable to find the words he was looking for.
Jenna reached out to touch his cheek.
‘Oh, Jason,’ she said. ‘You make me see things differently. I could never be without you.’
‘So … did that make any sense? Do you see what I mean?’
‘You want the world to know that you loved, and to feel it the way you felt it?’