What if she finds someone else?
His gut churned at the thought of someone else making love to her. Someone too rough and selfish, someone who wasn’t sensitive and understanding about her scars. They would destroy her confidence, her self-esteem. She would go back to being that shy, prickly girl who hid behind layers of unflattering clothes.
You love her.
Of course he loved her. He had fallen in love with her the first time he had kissed her. Something had shifted inside him. And he couldn’t shift it back. Making love with her had settled it once and for all.
He loved her and was always going to, chair or no chair.
Was it too late to ask her? Would she forgive him for pushing her away so publicly and so painfully? Everyone had been watching their interaction. He couldn’t have chosen a worse place to bring things to an end. Was that why she had kept her features so stoic? So controlled? Had he broken her heart as Remy had warned?
Was it too late to undo that damage?
He looked up at his housekeeper. ‘I’m going to London for a few days.’
Dominique beamed. ‘I’ve already packed for you.’
He tried to frown at her but he couldn’t quite pull it off. ‘You did what?’
‘I did it two weeks ago. I knew you would come to your senses. You’re a good man. The only man for Lily. She won’t be happy with anyone else and neither will you.’
* * *
Lily was filing paperwork when Valerie came into her office. ‘You should’ve left an hour ago. You don’t have to work overtime every day. You’ll burn out.’
‘I’m happy working.’ Lily closed the drawer. It distracts me. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do except sit at home and cry bucket loads of tears.
‘Has he called?’
Lily stiffened. ‘Has who called?’
‘You know who.’
She let out a rattling sigh. ‘No. He won’t. He’s too stubborn. Once he makes up his mind, that’s it. Game over.’
Valerie gave her a thoughtful look. ‘He’s been good for you. I’ve seen the change, Lily. Your clothes, your hair, that little touch of make-up. You look good.’
If only I felt good.
‘Thanks.’ Lily gave her a brief smile.
‘Well, I’m off home.’ Valerie gave a tired yawn. ‘Thank God it’s Friday. It’s been a long week.’
It’s been a lifetime.
* * *
Lily walked home even though the first chill of autumn had sharpened the air. It was another way to pass the time. It was an hour each way but she didn’t mind the exercise. It was soothing to put one foot in front of the other and let her mind drift. She thought of Raoul even though she always made a promise to herself when she set off that she wouldn’t. It was like a default setting inside her head. Her thoughts kept going back to him no matter how many distractions she put in the way.
She had even started imagining she saw him. Only two days ago she had seen a dark-haired man in a wheelchair at Piccadilly Circus. She’d blinked, her heart slamming against her ribcage, but when she had got closer she’d realised it was someone else.
Was that how her life was going to be now? Always wishing, hoping he would magically appear?
‘Lily.’
Now she was hearing his voice. Maybe she really was nuts. Crazy.
Crazy in love.