‘I have a very quiet mare that you—’
‘You’re not lifting that weight properly.’ She picked up a lighter weight and demonstrated. ‘See? You’re incorporating the wrong muscles if you don’t do it properly. It’s a waste of time and effort if you don’t do it the right way.’
Raoul didn’t even look at the weight. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You’re upset.’
She put the weight back down with unnecessary force, clanging it against the others on the rack. ‘I’m here to help you rehabilitate. That’s what you and your brother are paying me to do. I’m not here to get back in the saddle, either figuratively or literally.’
‘I thought you might like some time off to relax. I don’t expect you to spend all of your time here stuck indoors with me.’ He scraped a hand through his hair and frowned. ‘God knows it’s bad enough for me being with me. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you.’
There was a little silence.
‘I don’t find it hard being with you.’ Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear it.
Raoul looked at her. ‘What, you enjoy my cutting sarcasm?’
‘I think you push people away because you don’t want them to see how much you’re hurting.’
‘Here we go.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘The psychology lecture. Have I paid for that or is that extra?’
Her chin came up a fraction. ‘It’s free.’
‘Well, guess what? I don’t want it. I was doing just fine until you came along.’
She folded her arms across her chest. ‘Sure you were. That’s why you were stuck inside this great, big old mausoleum with no one but your housekeeper to feed you meals through the tiny gap you allowed in the door. Oh, yes, you were getting on just fine and dandy.’
He glowered at her. ‘And just how well are you getting on? Why don’t you take a dose of your own therapy? Perhaps read your own aura for a change. See what everyone else sees when they look at you.’
She stiffened as if he had thrown something nasty at her; she was determined not to show how much it affected her. ‘By “everyone else” I suppose you mean you?’
‘What I see is completely different. I see a young woman who is deeply passionate but is too frightened to show it. I see how much you want to grab life with both hands, but those hands have been burnt once and you’re too scared to reach for what you want because you don’t want to get burnt again. What other people see is a distant, somewhat cold, frumpy woman—that’s not who you are, Lily. You will never be happy until you are true to who you are meant to be.’
Her mouth flattened and her eyes flashed at him. ‘I don’t need you to sort out my life for me.’
‘If you can’t sort out your own, life what chance have you in sorting out mine?’
She opened and closed her mouth, her cheeks going a deep shade of pink as she turned away. ‘I don’t think this is going to work. I think it’s best if I just leave.’
‘You do that a lot, don’t you?’ Raoul said. ‘You run away when things get uncomfortable. But avoiding a problem only means you won’t be the one to eventually solve it.’
Every muscle in her back seemed to stiffen before she turned back to face him. ‘And how are you going to solve your problems? By pushing everyone away who could help you? Good luck with that. I’ve tried that in the past and, believe me, it doesn’t work.’
‘Then let’s both do it differently this time.’ Raoul let out a long breath. ‘Let’s pretend my brother didn’t engineer this. Let’s just be two people who might be able to help each other get back on their feet...or back on the horse; whatever metaphor works.’
Her look was guarded. ‘I’m not sure what you’re suggesting.’
‘Just be yourself. That’s all I’m asking. I want to get to know the real Lily Archer.’ He suddenly realised it was true. He wanted to know everything about her. He wanted to understand her and help her to claim back the life that had been stolen from her. She was a beautiful, warm-hearted girl who had been treated badly. She needed to regain her confidence and trust in people—and wasn’t he the perfect man to do it?
Are you out of your mind? You can’t help her. You can’t even help yourself!
Raoul didn’t want to listen to the voice of reason. This time he was go
ing to go on his instincts rather than rationality. Spending time with her would make her feel more at ease with herself. Make her less shy, less defensive. It would be a two-way deal. She would be helping him to get back on his feet and he would help her embrace her life once more.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip again. ‘You might be disappointed.’