Until I Find You - Page 275

"You have to thank your sister for that, Jack. She has made her share of sacrifices," Dr. Krauer-Poppe told him. "Are you serious about buying a house here?"

"Yes, very serious," he answered.

"My husband knows something about real estate--he can p

robably be of some help to you. I'm just in the medication business."

They were back in the Weinplatz, in front of the Storchen.

"Are you sure--" Jack started to ask her again, about walking her home.

"Yes, I'm sure," she interrupted him. "I'll be home in bed while you're still talking on the phone to Heather. Don't forget to call her."

But Dr. Krauer-Poppe stood there, not leaving. Jack could tell there was something more she wanted to say, but perhaps she felt that she didn't know him well enough to say it.

"You're not going home, Anna-Elisabeth?" he asked.

She covered her face with her hands again; for such a serious (and such a beautiful) woman, it was a curiously girlish gesture.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"It's not my business--you have a psychiatrist," she said.

"Please tell me what you're thinking," Jack said to her.

"I'm thinking that you should finish this chronological-order therapy," she told him, "and when you do finish, you should ask your doctor about a little something she might give you. You just wouldn't want to take this while you were still trying to put everything in chronological order."

"You mean a pill?" he asked her.

"Yes, a pill," Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. "It's not unlike what we give your father, but it's newer and a little different from Zoloft or Seropram. It's Cipralex; it's like the Seropram we give William, but this one has a new agent in it, escitalopram. You get a more rapid onset of action--a week compared to two or three weeks--and because of the higher potency, a normal dosage would be ten milligrams instead of twenty."

"It's an antidepressant?" Jack asked.

"Of course it is," she said. "I think the brand name is Lexapro in the States, but Dr. Garcia would know. With escitalopram, there were supposed to be fewer side effects. But not all studies have shown that this is true. You might not like the loss of libido, possible impotence, or prolonged ejaculation." Dr. Krauer-Poppe paused to smile at him. "You definitely wouldn't like what it might do to your ability to tell the story of your life in chronological order, Jack. So first finish what you're telling Dr. Garcia. Then try it."

"Do you think I'm depressed, Anna-Elisabeth?"

"What a question!" she said, laughing. "If you're putting in chronological order everything that ever made you laugh, or made you cry, or made you feel angry--and if you are truly leaving nothing out--then of course you're depressed! I'm surprised you're not in a place like the Sanatorium Kilchberg yourself, Jack. I don't mean as a visitor."

"But how will I know when I'm finished? It just goes on and on," he said to her.

"You'll know when you're finished, Jack," Dr. Krauer-Poppe said. "It ends when you feel like thanking Dr. Garcia for listening to you. It ends when there's someone else you feel like telling everything to--someone who isn't a psychiatrist."

"Oh."

"Gott!" she said. "Who would have thought the way someone said, 'Oh,' could be genetic?"

Dr. Krauer-Poppe shook Jack's hand; walking away, with her high heels somewhat unsteadily navigating the cobblestones, she called over her shoulder. "I'll meet you right where you're standing in the morning, Jack. I'll take you to the church. William will come with Dr. Horvath."

"Bis morgen!" he called to her. Then he went into the hotel and called his sister.

On the little pad of paper for messages--on the night table, next to the telephone--Jack recognized his handwriting in the morning.

Cipralex, 10 mg

(Lexapro in the States?)

Ask Dr. Garcia

Tags: John Irving Fiction
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