The Hotel New Hampshire - Page 142

'Now you're talking,' said Susie the bear. 'Now you're dealing with it.'

'Let's rape him!' Frank said. 'Who'd want to?' Lilly asked.

'I'd do it -- for the cause,' Susie said. 'But even with me, I think he'd like it. Men are creeps that way,' Susie said. 'They could hate your guts but their cocks will still like you.'

'We can't rape him,' Franny said. So Franny was okay, I thought. She was our leader again.

'We can do anything we want,' Frank argued -- Frank the agent, Frank the arranger.

'Even if we could figure out a way to rape him,' Susie said, 'even if we could find the perfect rapist for him, I still say it wouldn't be the same: the fucker would find a way to enjoy himself.'

And then Lilly, the author, spoke up. Our little Lilly, the creator: she had the best imagination. 'He wouldn't enjoy himself if he thought a bear was raping him,' Lilly said.

'Sodomy!' cried Frank, gleefully, clapping his hands -- like the cymbals he'd once used on Chipper Dove. 'Sodomize the bastard!' Frank cried.

'Wait a fucking minute!' said Susie the bear. 'Maybe he'll think it's a bear, but I'll still know it's him. I mean, anything for the cause,' Susie said, 'anything for you, honey,' Susie told Franny, 'but you'll have to give me some time to think this over.'

'But I don't think you'd have to really do it to him, Susie,' Franny said. 'I think you could scare him enough by almost doing it.'

'You could pretend to be a bear in heat, Susie,' Lilly said.

'A bear in heat!' howled Frank, with delight. 'That's it!' he shouted, wildly. 'A bear in heat goes berserk! You could wolf the bastard's balls right into your terrible bear's mouth!' Frank screamed at Susie. 'Make him think he's going to get blown by a bear! For the last time!' Frank added.

'I could take him right to the edge,' Susie the bear said.

'But no further, Susie,' Franny said. 'I just want to frighten him.'

'Scare him to death,' Frank said, exhausted.

'Not quite,' said Lilly. 'Scare him almost to death.'

'A bear in heat: that's brilliant, Lilly,' I said.

'Just give me a day,' Lilly said.

'For what, Lilly?' Susie asked.

'The script,' Lilly said. 'I'll need a day to get the script right.'

'I love you, Lilly,' Franny said, and gave her a hug.

'You all have to be very good actors,' Lilly said.

'I'm taking lessons, for Christ's sake!' Susie roared. 'And I'll bring my friends! Can you use two friends, Lilly?' Susie asked.

'If they're women, I can use them,' Lilly said, frowning.

'Of course they're women!' Susie said, indignantly.

'Can I be in it?' Frank asked.

'You're not a woman, Frank,' I pointed out. 'Maybe Lilly wants all women.'

'Well, I'm a fag,' Frank said, huffily. 'And Chipper Dove knows that.'

'I can get a great costume for Frank,' Susie told Lilly.

'You can?' Frank asked, excitedly. He hadn't had a chance to dress up in a while.

Tags: John Irving Fiction
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