Nathaniel kept his face forward, but from the corner of his vision he could see Kitty’s head tilt ever so slight as she took another subtle step away from him.
“Aye,” he said, as cool as he could, “’twas a very nice evening, Miss Whitney. I thank you.”
Her eyes flitted again to Kitty then back to
Nathaniel before she took Charlotte’s hand. “We really must be going.” She nodded her good-bye while Charlotte waved the tiny hand of her doll. Caroline laughed. “’Twas a pleasure to meet you, Miss Campbell. Good day, Dr. Smith.”
She started down the road, leaning slightly to speak to Charlotte of her doll’s good fortune as they disappeared around the corner.
Nathaniel sighed and turned to Kitty, yearning to place her slender hand on his arm where it had rested before the untimely meeting. As if sensing his gaze, Kitty glanced up then twisted her mouth to the side in a playful smirk. “So that’s where you were last Sunday.” She glanced forward and started walking. “I’d wondered.”
He matched her leisurely stride, hoping his answer would smooth the creases in her brow as he offered his arm once more. Surprisingly, she took it. “Mr. Whitney is a good friend,” he said, “I’ve known him for years. I only spent Sunday in their home to discuss politics. Mr. Whitney is in charge of setting up the watch for the powder. We’ve had some difficulties in that respect and I’m in need of more help with the guard now than in the past.”
Kitty removed her hand from his elbow, leaving a cold space where her touch had been. “I’m sorry for the struggles you are enduring. I’m sure ‘tis quite a burden.”
Nathaniel tried to catch her expression. She kept her face forward, but the tight set to her soft jaw and the way her throat bobbed made explicit the one question he’d hoped wasn’t true. Kitty didn’t wish to speak of politics or any related subject with him—that, or her sudden sullenness meant her unrevealed struggles related to this very issue.
He pressed out a hard breath. It wasn’t as if he could simply ignore the conversation. If he couldn’t talk to Kitty of such things for fear it might upset her, ‘twas the same as ignoring the existence of the sky.
Glazing his tone in gentleness, he continued the undesired conversation, praying somehow he could decode the missives her expressions tried so hard to suppress. “’Tis distressing. More distressing than anything else of late. But I pray God will lead us to the culprit. I know we must discover them soon, and when we do they will certainly pay for what they’ve done.”
Jerking to a halt, Kitty pressed her hands to her stomach and peeked up at him. Her mouth pressed tight and the color again left her face. That gnawing angst chewed into his stomach and if not for a lone passer-by on the street he would have taken her hand in his and stroked her velvety skin until she looked at him—now and long after. What is it, dear Kitty? Why will you not tell me?
He opened his mouth, ready to coax the reluctant words from her lips, but he snapped his jaw shut. Now was not the time. Perhaps when they were at home, with Thomas and Eliza near to help ease the tensions that so obviously beset her, they would once and for all unearth the burdens she’d buried in her heart. With a quick look to the sky, Nathaniel acquiesced. There would be no revelation today. Best to change the subject.
“We have arrived.” Nathaniel touched the small of her back and motioned toward the picturesque resting place. Leaf-laden branches waved toward the water like green ribbons as the soft breeze brushed past. The warm sun kissed the water and shimmered like flecks of gold, pairing beautifully with the patch of grass that rested just inches from the bank.
Kitty’s eyes twinkled like the water at the banks of the pond. Her mouth parted slightly and she inhaled a quick breath. “I’ve never seen any place so inviting.”
“You can’t find anything like this in Boston.”
An airy laugh huffed from her lips. “Nay, you cannot.” She moved forward then jerked to a stop. “But is it at all proper for us to be here without a chaperone?”
Nathaniel kept the smile away from his expression, though it ached for exposure. She couldn’t be more charming. “Chaperone? I believe such a formality would only be necessary if we were courting.” He leaned forward, finally allowing that grin to expand on his lips. “Are we?”
Her cheeks flashed red and she looked away.
Stifling a chuckle, Nathaniel nudged her forward and sat on the grass at a respectable distance from where she seated herself. If only he could inch closer...
The gentle wind toyed with the curls around Kitty’s neck and seemed to blow the additional color from her face until just the perfect hue of pink dusted her cheeks. She straightened her skirts over her daintily folded legs and untied the straw hat from her head, revealing a crown of rich auburn hair that glowed in the sun like embers in a fire.
Nathaniel swallowed. A mad yearning to brush his fingers against her cheek forced his hands to the grass. Kitty rested her hat on the ground and gazed out over the water, closing her eyes as if the very sounds and scents of nature soothed the pains from her soul. He could do it now, touch her hand while she wasn’t looking. He reached then halted when another, more desirable daydream flashed to life. He shouldn’t even think such a thing, but the image loomed until he could contemplate nothing else. What would it be like? One kiss, one small touch of the lips? He would not ask for more. Yet, the longer he surrendered to the desire, the more the shape of her mouth consumed his vision.
He looked the other way and kneaded his hands together. This foolish affection for her was like the shape of a cloud, one moment there and the next dissolved. A relationship with Kitty couldn’t happen. In fact, it would not. He’d made that promise long ago. Though perhaps such a kiss, one small kiss, would forever extinguish these childish imaginations from his heart.
Chapter Fourteen
The sparkling water and warm sun caressed the wounds around Kitty’s heart. She studied the pond, the quacking ducks gliding on the surface, the song of birds, the brush of the breeze on her face, and relished in the peace of the moment. A peace she hadn’t felt in weeks.
Nathaniel peered at her, his head slightly tilted. “You know, I believe this is the first time you and I have ever really been alone.”
She laughed lightly to hide the extra thump of her heart. Why must he smile at her that way? Kitty turned her attention to the ground and she plucked at the soft grass, feigning a calm exterior while her insides jumbled. “Nay, we’ve been alone many a time.”
“Not like this.” He took a deep breath and wrapped his strong arms around his knees, his muscles straining the fabric of his jacket. “It’s nice to see what you are like when you are not in the company of your sister.”
“What do you mean? I’m not any different when I’m with Liza.”
“You are not different, nay. I simply enjoy... I simply enjoy your company.” The richness of his voice nurtured the longing that welled within.