Clasping her hands at her waist, Kitty forbid her vision to drink him in. But it defied her commands, satisfying a thirst she suffered but consistently ignored. His brown jacket and tan waistcoat played perfectly with his dark complexion. The crinkles around his eyes deepened as his smile grew and she tried to remember how to breathe. Her mind and her body reacted with the same dichotomy of forces, yearning for his nearness and at the same moment needing to escape and never turn back.
Did he ever think of that night outside of the Cooper’s home? Of the way their lips had nearly touched and changed them evermore? She thought of that moment every day. Though every day, she scolded herself for such folly.
Nathaniel reached her and offered a gentle bow, his usual bold charm subdued, replaced with a rich sincerity that beamed in his broad smile. “It has been too long since we’ve seen each other, has it not? At least a fortnight or more in my estimation.”
He’d been counting? “Aye.”
Glancing around, he then looked her up and down with his eyes squinting as if trying to decipher a puzzle. He tilted his head slightly, and motioned toward her hands. “Making deliveries again? Where are your goods?”
“Deliveries?” That nervous high-pitched laugh surfaced and Kitty wanted to cringe when it escaped. She smiled instead. “Oh no, no—no goods. Simply enjoying the summer air.” She waved her arms and flopped them down at her sides. He had better leave promptly. She could not endure being distracted in any way that may cause her to miss her all-important task.
Nodding, the sides of Nathaniel’s mouth pulled down in a contemplative expression as he considered her, but said nothing.
Licking her lips, Kitty scrambled to assemble an excuse in the barren desert of her brain. “’Tis good to see you, Nathaniel. As always.” She cleared her throat, upset at how her words expressed more longing than she’d wished to expose. “But, I certainly do not wish to detain you, I know how busy you’ve been. I’ll let you be on your way.”
Kitty turned and started up the street again, but he was instantly at her side.
“I’m in no hurry, and since it appears that you have no fixed engagements, allow me to walk with you a while. I’ve missed our conversations, Kitty.”
This cannot be happening.
She stopped and guarded her breathing to keep her rising anxiety at bay. “Really, Nathaniel, I’m going nowhere, I’m simply—”
“You’re trying to be rid of me.” He jerked back and pressed a hand to his chest in exaggerated shock. “I cannot believe it.”
Kitty failed to snuff-out the smile that burst to life on her face. “Nay, I’m not, I’m—”
“You’re angry with me.” He shook his head. “What have I done this time?”
Now she giggled. “I am not angry.”
“Oh dear. I know what it is,” he said, his mouth twisted to the side. “You’re going to meet another gentleman.”
“Nay!” This time she laughed out-loud. “I am not. I am doing nothing but taking a leisurely stroll.” She sighed through her smile. If anyone could make her forget her sorrows, it was Nathaniel.
For the first time in two weeks, the ugliness around her heart receded and the beauty of the world radiated around her in all its color and brilliance. “I speak truthfully,” she said, shrugging. “I am merely walking.”
Nathaniel’s handsome face lit as if the sun shone from within him. “Good.” He cocked his elbow. “Come, this day is far too beautiful to stroll without someone with whom to enjoy it. I promise to be on my best behavior.”
Taking his arm, Kitty suddenly plunged back into the pit of melancholy. How long would this take? She had two hours before she had to carry out her hated task. Plenty of time to bask in some much-needed happiness.
God knew how she hated the terrible wait and the dread that nipped at her heart like a salivating wolf. Perhaps this was a blessing. Thank you, Lord.
Glancing at her grinning companion, she pulled her shoulders back and shed the cloak of sorrow, welcoming the distraction as the horizon welcomes the breaking dawn.
“I thank you for your persistence, Nathaniel. I’m pleased you wish to accompany me.” She dipped her chin slightly, and added a thread of severity to her tone while she continued to smile. “And I will be watching you, since you promised to be on your best behavior.”
He winked. “Aren’t I always?”
***
Nathaniel warmed from the beams of delight that brightened the world around him. He glanced at Kitty then looked back up again and tried to be satisfied with the long looks he’d enjoyed moments before, though he couldn’t satiate the craving to gaze at her without end. The rosy complexion in her cheeks made the red in her lips seem to bloom like a summer rose, and his fingers itched to touch that soft strand of hair that danced around her ears.
Peeking down once more, his vision detected and confirmed the concerns he’d noted earlier but promptly dismissed. Her collarbones were more pronounced. Worry pricked. Kitty was thinner.
He cleared his throat and practiced his most nonchalant tone. “Eliza says you haven’t been eating much of late, and that you’ve complained of increased fatigue. Are you feeling unwell?”
Kitty looked up briefly before staring with pointed attention at the road. She pressed her lips, shrugging one shoulder. “Eliza worries over-much.”