“God led me to you and Nathaniel, this I know. I will never regret the choices I have made on your behalf, nor the bonds that have been forged between us through our trials. But I alone will answer for my actions.” William clapped a hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “I would not have my friends in the cross fire.”
The logs popped, the dwindling flames casting shadows against Thomas’s ticking expression. “You placed yourself at risk on our behalf. Are we not to return the favor?”
Teeth grinding, William shook his head. “You do not understand what you offer. I am a soldier, as is Paul—captains both. My quarrel with him is matched equally in the sight of the law. But not you. Your punishment, should you be caught, would be much greater than mine.”
“Your punishment for defecting is—”
“I refuse your offer, Thomas.”
Thomas released his hold on the mantel and straightened, forcing William to drop his hand. “I respect your stand. You have made your decision and shall answer for it. As shall we.”
Thomas started toward the door and William yanked his arm. “Thomas!”
Shaking his head, Thomas yanked his hat from the chair and pointed over William’s shoulder. “Paul is coming and I refuse to watch from a distance when so much is at stake.”
“Is everything all right?”
William spun and stilled at the sight of Anna, a shawl draped over her shoulders, standing with round eyes in the doorway of the bedchamber.
Concern pinched her forehead in the middle. “Thomas, you are here so late. I hope Eliza and the baby are not unwell.”
Bowing, Thomas fit his hat on his head. “Eliza and the baby are well, Anna, I thank you.” He straightened. “I am sorry if our conversation has awakened you.”
“Not at all.”
Thomas inched his eyes back to William. He barely spoke. “We shall resume this conversation tomorrow at supper.”
William nodded, anger fogging his throat. “That we shall.”
“Good evening.” Thomas offered a smile to Anna before seeing himself to the door.
When the latch was once again in place, Anna stepped toward the fire, her hands gripping the shawl at her chest. “William, what’s wrong? I have rarely heard Thomas so anxious.”
“’Tis nothing.” He reached out and she folded against his chest. Stroking her lavender-scented hair, he lied through her trust. “We are smuggling munitions now, as you know, and the troubles mount. But we will overcome them as always.”
She craned her neck to peer up at him and the cracks in his heart snapped deeper. Should he not tell her now? End the painful charade? With a sigh he pressed her head against his chest and ground the words between his teeth. Nay, he could not. Watching the love she carried for him drain from her eyes would bring pain beyond his strength.
Her arms twined around his waist. “So long as you are safe.” She looked up then brought her hand to his cheek and dusted her fingers against his jaw. “So long as we are together. That is all I shall ever need.”
He kissed her head and turned her toward the bedchamber. “’Tis late. I shall prepare the fire and be with you shortly.”
Trailing her hand down his arm, she squeezed his fingers and returned to the darkness of their room.
Blinking, William turned and pressed his palms against the table. Letting his head hang, he groaned as the mountain of his sins angled higher. He could not allow his friends to risk their lives on his behalf. He could not begin to think of what would happen to Anna. Peering across his shoulder, he heaved a weighted breath. After hours of debate, after sifting for the gem in a bucket of pebbles, the only option surfaced like a polished stone.
Pushing away from the table he turned to the fire and poked the ash-laden logs apart, making room for another. If she were sequestered with the Watsons or the Smiths, Anna would question—and her presence would force his friends to risk for him the very thing he would never wish of them. Their lives were in danger enough. William stood, staring down as the fire gnawed at the wood. What if he could trust this Warren Fox to take Anna and remove her just long enough to ensure Paul was no longer a threat? William could at last be free to live as he desired—as they desired? But would Warren take her to England as Anna feared?
William reached back in his mind to the attempted abduction. The lack of malice, the sincerity in the man’s eyes when he vowed he would do Anna no harm seemed to plead for William’s confidence. A war of questions sparked a firefight. Should he risk trusting him? Expounding his secrets to such a stranger could bring down hell upon them both. When Anna learned the truth of who William was would she even wish to return to him? Going to England might be more of a comfort than returning to a man who had lied from the very moment he’d saved her.
Trust him.
William stared into the rounding flames, a prickle darting over his skin. Could he trust his wife to a man who could take her away forever? Could he trust his secrets to such a stranger?
The whisper of God’s piercing voice echoed between the doubts of his spirit.
Trust him. And trust Me.
Bowing his head, William answered in silence. Yea, Lord, I will trust in thee.