“Is that what I think it is?” Levi is sitting on the ground, pulling containers out of the bag. When he has them all situated, he pats the grass next to him and I take a seat, folding my legs underneath me.
“It is,” he says, handing me one of the Styrofoam containers and a fork. “It’s still your favorite, right?” he asks, and there’s a cloud of doubt slipping across his face.
I think about telling him ‘no’ just to get a rise out of him, but I can’t. He’s obviously gone through a lot of trouble putting this all together—whatever this is—and I don’t want to ruin it. Things felt good last night when we parted ways, and then again today, but I wasn’t sure how they would be tonight once we were alone. I had hoped that we could move past the wall between us, and I think we finally have. Why else would he bring me out here for a picnic featuring my all-time favorite food?
“Are you kidding? Of course it’s my favorite.” Popping off the lid, I close my eyes and inhale the scent of the delicious food. Beef Pepper Steak has always been my favorite, and no one—and I mean, no one—can make it the way Levi does. I grab a fork, stab the sauced meat and then pause before the juicy goodness hits my mouth. “Wait. You made this, right?”
Levi’s face shines brightly, a wide grin splitting his lips. “What would you say if I told you Mason made it?”
I scowl, dropping the fork into the container. “Levi Beckford, that is not funny,” I pout, staring at my food like it’s growing mold. “Did Mason make this?”
Shrugging his shoulder, Levi stabs a pepper and pops it into his mouth. “Guess you’re going to have to try it to find out.” Putting the container down, I grab another one and peek inside. Mashed potatoes. Okay, there is no way Mason could’ve screwed up mashed potatoes. Right?
Just as I’m about to dig into the potatoes, they’re ripped from my hand. “What are you doing? Try the damn Pepper Steak.” Levi scoops up a heap from his bowl and lifts it to my mouth. I stare at him numbly, unable to move because the memories are crashing into me like waves on a rocky shore. Levi used to feed me all the time. To anyone else we probably looked like idiots, but it was nothing for the two of us to feed each other an entire meal. And here he is, feeding me. “Lane?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to try it?” I mentally snap myself back to reality and lean forward as Levi raises the fork a little more. My lips slip around the plastic cutlery and my eyes instantly roll back in my head. Hea-ven!
“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” I mumble around the food in mouth, desperately trying to ignore the growing wave of nausea in the pit of my stomach. I close my eyes and attempt to savor the flavor, knowing full well that Levi was the one who made me this meal. “Mmmmm,” I groan, slowly opening my eyes as I swallow. Levi’s watching me, lips parted, eyes glossed over, and if I’m not mistaken, his breathing is a little faster and a tad bit heavier.
I take a deep breath in through my nose, willing the churning in my stomach to stop. I have my nausea medicine in my purse, but I’m not sure Levi and I are ready for that conversation quite yet. My hope is that he can get to know me again, that he will trust me again and maybe even love me again. But I don’t want any of that to be out of pity; I want it to happen naturally. “Levi?”
“Yeah?”
“Do I have some food on my mouth?”
“No. Why?” he asks, his eyes still trained on my mouth. My tongue darts out, licking a slow path across my bottom lip, and he swallows hard.
“Because you’re staring at my mouth.”
“Sorry. I, uh . . .” He shakes his head and looks away sheepishly.
“It’s okay.” I wave him off nonchalantly, taking another small bite despite the uneasy feeling in my stomach. “My lips are plump and juicy, and most guys stare at them, so don’t even think twice about it.”
A laugh rips from his throat as he tears a chunk off of his bun, tossing it at my head. I don’t react in time and it smacks me in the forehead. “That wasn’t nice,” I pout. Levi pulls a napkin out of the bag and I playfully yank it from his hand, causing him to chuckle. I wipe the garlic butter off and Levi goes back to eating his food.
There is nothing more that I want than to devour the rest of my dinner, but my stomach disagrees wholeheartedly “Can you hand me a water?” Slipping my hand into my purse, I twist the cap of the pill bottle, slide one out and grab the opened bottle of water that Levi has waiting for me.
“What’s that?” he asks, nodding at my purse.
I should probably tell him—put it all out there and let things fall where they may. But I can’t. I want to see where tonight goes, and I need to tell him when I feel the time is right.
“Tylenol,” I answer, tossing the tiny white pill into my mouth, I chase it with a swig of water and hope that it takes effect quick enough for me to eat a few more bites.
“Headache?”
“Just a little one.” Levi nods and we fall I watch as he devours everything in his container, along with half of the mashed potatoes and two of the rolls. I manage to eat a little more of my Pepper Steak and half a roll, but it’s not nearly as much as I usually eat.
“Aren’t you going to finish that?” He looks confused, peering down at my container. Shaking my head, I hand it to him.
“Nope. I’m full. It was absolutely delicious. Please, finish it.” I take a long drink of my water and nod for him to eat.
He frowns but shoves the delicious food into his mouth. Lying back on the grass, I tuck my hands behind my head and look up at the stars. It’s a clear night. No fog, no smog, and a million stars in the sky.
“So, how have things been since you’ve been home?” How the hell do I answer that? I can’t very well say, ‘To tell you the truth, with all the chemo and everything, it’s majorly sucked.’ Instead, I go with the response I’ve gotten used to telling people.
“Good. Things have been good. Luke is happy I’m home, and Benny spends so much time at my house that I’m not sure he even knows what his house looks like anymore.” I can hear Levi cleaning up our mess, but