She watched him. She knew him. He was telling her the truth. Not having the answer bothered him. He was torn up about it.
They came to a closed gate. Renie jumped down to open it, but Billy got to it at the same time. When she put her hand on the latch, he put his on top of it.
“Look at me,” he whispered. “You know me. Better than anyone. No way in hell I would’ve knowingly gotten somebody pregnant and walked away. No way I’d do that.”
He wouldn’t have. If he had known, she would’ve lost him forever, because he would’ve done whatever he thought was right for Willow, and Roxanne. Billy Patterson was a good man, deep down. No one knew him as well as she did, and he was right, it would’ve been different if he’d known Roxanne was pregnant.
“Don’t kick me out of your life over this. Please don’t. Try to get to know her. She’s a baby, Renie.”
“I don?
?t know.”
“Please. I’ll beg you if that’s what it takes.”
“I need time…”
“Time? It’s been eight months. How much more time do you need?”
She got back on her horse, pushed Pooh into a gallop, and rode back toward the barn.
She didn’t know how much more time she needed, and him yelling at her about it wouldn’t help her figure it out. Her biggest problem was that she didn’t understand her attitude any better than he did. What was she afraid of?
He was right, Willow was just a baby. What was it that she expected to happen that made her unable to face meeting a baby?
It didn’t take long for Billy to catch up to her on Micah. Her mother’s horse was much younger than Pooh, and Billy knew how to push him.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“Does this mean you’ll meet her?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I know you didn’t. But does it?”
“Bring her here. I’ll meet her if you bring her here.” That way if it were too much, at least Renie would have her own mother’s support to make it easier. She wouldn’t be alone with Billy and his baby—Billy and the life he had without her.
He didn’t answer, so she turned to look at him.
“If you’re waiting for me to say no, you’ll be waiting a long time. I’ll do whatever it takes. You want Willow and me to come here, no problem. Tell me when.”
“Thanksgiving.”
Thanksgiving? He didn’t think his parents would mind much. It wasn’t as though she was asking him to come for Christmas. That might have been a problem, taking Willow away from Grandma and Grandpa for her first Christmas with them. Thanksgiving was different.
“Okay. Thanksgiving.” He hated that he’d have to wait that long to see Renie again, but he’d waited eight months, he could wait a little longer if that’s what she needed.
“You’ll come here.”
“We’ll come here.”
“Where will you stay?”
“Where do you want us to stay?”
She was chewing the inside of her lip. He wished he could understand why this caused her so much anxiety. He tried to put himself in her position, but he couldn’t. Maybe if he could get her to talk about how she was feeling, he could understand, and help her figure out a way to make it easier.