“I had more important things to deal with, more important things to be doin’. You don’t win a national championship if you’re not focused.”
“I want this with you,” he said softly, almost a whisper. It wasn’t like him to be quiet, or still. Billy rarely stopped moving, but he sat next to her, so still.
It spilled over to her. It was that way between them—they shared feelings.
“Do you want it, Renie?”
She did. It’s what she’d always wanted. Now that it was a reality, she wasn’t sure. What if it didn’t work out between them? Then what?
“Fuck, Renie, answer me.”
She jumped at his drastic change in tone. “I don’t know.”
Billy got up and paced around her living room. “Why the hell not?”
“What happens if it doesn’t work? We have to take that into consideration.”
He sat back down and pulled her into him. “Tell you what—we’ll be ourselves, be the way we’ve always been, but let’s see where bein’ intimate takes us.”
“I have to think about it, Billy, without you here.”
“Nah, if I’m not here you’ll get weird about it. Like you did with Pooh.”
“What do you mean?”
“You moved her. What the hell was that all about? You thought I was gonna let you get away with doin’ somethin’ like that?” He laughed and shook his head.
“No, I guess not.” She laughed too.
“I’m goin’ home in the morning, which means I’m gonna sleep here with you tonight. When you come down to visit this weekend, you’re gonna sleep with me.”
“What if I don’t come down?”
“I’ll come back here.”
“Don’t you need to get back out on the road?”
“Not ready yet.”
Renie fidgeted on the couch, moving further away from him. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess I do. My heart isn’t in it. I can’t explain it any better than that.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s that mean? You got an opinion, which you always do. Don’t be shy about tellin’ me what it is.”
“The longer you wait to get back out there, the easier it’ll get for you to convince yourself you’re done.”
“What about us?”
“You can’t use ‘us’ as an excuse, Billy. Get back out there. Ride. Compete. It’s what you do.”
“Don’t wanna.”
Renie rolled her eyes.
“What about us?” he asked for the second time.