It hadn’t occurred to Billy to kiss Renie that night. Now he wished he had.
Billy turned more of his body toward her. His arms longed to hold her close to him.
“Billy?”
“Yeah, Renie?”
“Are we gonna be okay?”
“We’re gonna be way better than that.”
When Billy woke up later, the sun streamed through the thin white window coverings. It had to be mid-morning, but Renie was still sound asleep.
They’d moved in the night, so they faced each other. Her lips were so close to his he could feel her breath on his cheek. When he brushed his lips across hers, she woke with a gasp.
Hearing that sweet sound, did Billy in. His mouth covered hers as his hand came up to fist her hair. He held her still, so she had no choice but to kiss him back. He tucked his other arm under her body and pulled her into him, and wrapped a leg over hers.
Renie put her hands on his chest and pushed back. He looked into her eyes, again wishing he knew what she was thinking. His hand moved to the curve of her back, down to her bottom, and pulled her into him.
God, he wished her eyes could speak. Everything he needed to hear was in them, they were telling him, but he couldn’t grasp what they were saying.
She pushed away from him again and sat up. She pulled her sweatshirt over her head. Her hands moved to her waist, and she eased off her pajama bottoms.
Whatever air Billy had in his lungs was gone. He was dizzy, almost delirious, as he took in the sight of Renie naked.
“I knew it,” he said.
“What did you know, Billy?”
“Fucking amazing. I knew you would be.”
Chill bumps spread over her body in the cold bedroom, but he didn’t want to cover her with a blanket. He had no choice but to cover her with himself. He slipped off his boxer briefs and pushed his thigh between hers, forcing his way in closer to her.
“Wait,” she whispered.
He leaned over to where his jeans lay on the floor, reached into the pocket, and found a condom. She watched as he tore open the packet and put it on. Every move he made, her eyes followed.
He kissed her again, first her lips, then down her neck, taking a turn with each breast, while his hands reached down to where they would soon come together.
He slid into her slowly, and stopped moving. He looked into her eyes, questioning.
She leaned forward and brought her lips to his. She kissed him so hard, his body reacted instinctively, moving into her of its own accord. She breathed in deeply as he pushed into her, but made no other sound. His hands caressed her face as their lips stayed joined in the same way their bodies were.
He could no longer hold back, he had no control over his body’s reaction to her. He wanted to go slow, be gentle and make this, her first time, perfect for her. His pace quickened. He moved harder into her, and then, when he couldn’t wait any longer, she cried out. Her fingers dug in where her hands pulled at his shoulders.
“Open your eyes,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
He rolled so she was on top of him, his body refusing to leave the snug comfort of hers. “Renie—”
“Shh.” She ran her fingertips over his lips.
He closed his eyes to steady himself, before he thought about what they had done. He’d promised her he wouldn’t hurt her. He prayed he hadn’t.
She’d been waiting for this moment, this day, all her life, or at least the last couple of years, when she allowed herself to fantasize about the first time she and Billy had sex. Now here he was, underneath her. Every time she went to move away from him, to move her body enough that their bodies were no longer joined, he held her still.
He wanted to talk, she knew he did, the same way she understood everything else about Bil
ly’s subtle nuances. She wasn’t ready to. Instead, she wanted to linger, savor this time with him. No matter what happened now, it wouldn’t be this way ever again, because this was her first time, not just with Billy, but with anyone.