Another blush, “My doctor tried putting me on it once. It was to help with my painful periods but one caused weight gain, another mood swings, and finally I stopped all together.”
“Painful periods, how bad are they?”
“I guess like any woman gets but it just felt times three. But that was when I was much younger, in the last few years, they’ve become less intense, and I would presume normal. Although, I do usually just start taking an over the counter pain medicine from the very start and keep taking them for three days straight. Usually, the tail end is fine. My last one just ended yesterday.”
“I’ll make an appointment with the gynecologist Sonia uses here in Chicago. I want you on birth control. I don’t trust myself to use a condom every time. There are several methods of birth control and I’m sure the doctor will find one that suits you.”
He sat up and she could only nod. She watched him walk out and close the door, then flung herself on the bed. Her body was still tense with longing, she wanted to call him back instead she hugged a pillow close. It smelled like him and her body got hot all over again, and she wanted to cry.
What had happened to her? For seven long years, she’d believed she was in love with Greg, then one day Dmitri appears in her life and Greg very quickly faded into the background. The truth was, ever since that moment in the car the very first day, Dmitri had been all she saw, the only thing she thought about. Surprise had filled her at Greg’s call because it had only been then, that she acknowledged she hadn’t thought about him once in six long days.
What did that say about her, what kind of person was she, to go from thinking she was in love with one man, yet still achingly attracted to another man? There had been instant chemistry the first moment they met, but also, Dmitri had continued to hold her fascination in their daily interactions. He asked her opinion, listened to what she had to say, if he felt her point was valid he said so, and if he didn’t, he explained why. In the few off hours away from him, she had made a study of him and his company. His past successes and extremely few failures added up to a man who had been absolutely certain of where he was going, and what he was doing.
While he was a workaholic from the time he woke up until the time he went to sleep, he made sure she had breaks and time away from him, or rather, he had tried but she had stuck right by his side. It was fascinating to watch him and see how his mind worked.
Her job was to take notes on his daily meetings and things he wanted researched, and there were two other support staff who worked directly for him in New York. Her interaction with Gus and Drew had been limited, and there was a reserve on their part—she could tell. Dmitri had shrugged it off and told her to do so as well. Both were unhappy they weren’t able to step into Sonia’s place, but as it was temporary, he didn’t see what the big deal was.
It was just like Dmitri, he focused on the big things, believing that the little things would fall into place as he saw fit. What was she to him? Was she a small thing that would fall into place? What would she become? Was she just the person filling in and when the three months were over would she be expected to fade into the background, would it even last three months? Guiltily, she had clicked on image after image of him with beautiful women. His track record was long and impressive, but his time with a woman usually lasted no longer than six months. Was this something she could do? Take Dmitri as her first lover, not knowing where it would go or how long it would last?
Hands shaking, she used the phone in her room to call Pam, “Hey, Ellie, how have you been? Missed you the other day, your favorite movie was on and it wasn’t the same, watching it without you.”
“I’m okay. I just, I need some advice.”
“Okay, what’s up? You sound so serious.”
“My boss, Dmitri, he—I don’t know how to say it.”
“Ooh, I did some internet surfing on him, he’s gorgeous. I swear he had me drooling. Tell me more about him.”
“He is gorgeous and he, he wants me. Like, to have sex or make love or whatever, I mean, I’m sure for him it’s just sex, and he’s so sexy, and I want to, but I just don’t know. I don’t know. Tell me what to do here.”
“Holy crap! Are you freaking kidding me? That’s so great, Ellie! Really, that is just, wow! I’m so happy for you.” Ellie didn’t know how to respond to that and clenched her eyes. “Ellie? What’s the matter?”
“I just don’t know if he’s the one. I know it’s stupid to have waited so long, and I was waiting for Greg. Now that I see Greg for what he really is I know that’s never going to happen, and I don’t want it to happen, but what am I doing by just hopping into bed with Dmitri?”
“Wait! You’re over Greg? When did that happen?”
“If I’m being perfectly honest, I haven’t thought of Greg since the first day I met Dmitri. He’s been the one thing I see, the only person I think about. My day starts and ends with him, and he has fascinated me from day one. I think, I think I wanted to kiss him that first day, to know what it would be like to be with him.
Admitting it though, didn’t happen until tonight. Greg called me, expecting me to jump and run back to Alexandria to sign off on a mortgage on Jasper’s house. He was the one, Pam, he sold out the stock to Dmitri to pay off debt. That hurt, but then he threw out how much he cared about me, and how much he thought I cared. It was just such manipulative crap, I finally saw him for what he was, and now I can’t believe I was so stupid for so long.”
“Look, you are being way too hard on yourself, and making this way too complicated. I get that you were nuts about Greg for years, but there were also men who tried with you during that time, and no one got farther than a dazed look of confusion. If this Dmitri guy has managed to wiggle his way into your brain enough that you want him, don’t you think that makes him special? He wants you. I love you, but even I’m a little stunned, his last girlfriend was a lingerie model, the one before he
r is a big name for one of those fashion houses. He has had them and he wants you, maybe that makes you special to him?
I know that it being your first time is a big deal, and you wanted it to mean something big on your wedding day, or something like that. But I have to tell you, not trying to freak you out, but the first time isn’t always great. In fact, if the guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, or doesn’t care about you, it can be downright painful. From the pictures of this guy, something tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing and could do it so well you’ll be begging for more.”
She tightened the phone cord around her finger until it went purple as she thought of what Pam said. “Ellie, I love you like a sister, but you have got to quit living in your head. You are going to miss out on really great things by not paying attention to what’s actually going on. Enjoy the good stuff while it lasts and when it’s over you have something amazing to remember until the next good thing.”
“Thanks, Pam, I needed that.”
“You’re welcome. I love you, Ellie, call me and let me know how it goes.”
With a laugh she hung up, knowing there was no way that was going to happen. Hearing the door to Dmitri’s room close, Elise went to sleep dreaming about him.
Chapter Three
The knock on her door was light, if she hadn’t been lying awake for the last hour she wouldn’t have heard it. Sitting up, making sure the sheet covered her, she called out to come in.