It’s not easy to keep from crying at my remembered hatred of Tony Sabatini. “He ruined my life, too. When Danny died, my mom got five times worse. It was hell for almost a year. There were beatings almost daily. If we didn’t eat at school, we didn’t eat. I wanted to kill him for months after Danny died. At night I dreamed about how to do it.”
Lisa’s eyes go wide. “You wanted to kill him when you were ten years old?”
Hearing it out loud, it’s crazy, but true. “If he hadn’t been in prison, I swear I would have found a way to do it. Hell, Lisa. I went through hell for almost a year after Danny died. And every day of that hell, I wanted to kill Tony Sabatini. It wasn’t until my dad picked us up one weekend and saw the bruises covering all three of us that he lost his shit and finally put a stop to it. He drove straight through the night to his mom in Missouri for her to take care of us.”
“I remember you telling me all of that after we finally got in touch again. It always scared me how you were there one day then gone. Your mom refused to say where you were. You said it was bad but—I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry, Christy.”
Shaking my head, “I don’t need you to be sorry for me. I need you to help me. I get you think it’s crazy. I understand you don’t want me to do it, but I’m going to find a way—with or without your help. I owe this to ten-year-old me. Not my mom, but me and my brothers who suffered through all of it with me. Jason is gone, but Ricky is still here. The day after Danny died, she broke Ricky’s arm for a second time and his nose for the fourth time. All of us paid for what Tony Sabatini did.”
Closing her eyes, Lisa shakes her head. “Tony didn’t make Danny kill himself. Danny was weak. You aren’t weak, and you aren’t going to get stronger by killing Tony.”
“So you aren’t going to help me?”
She starts crying and I hate myself for putting her through this. “I’ll help you because I can’t stand the idea of your death on my conscious. Maybe you’ll survive this if I help you.”
I honestly hadn’t thought beyond pulling the trigger. Hearing her say it again, I shiver as I contemplate what will come after I kill Tony Sabatini. She said Dominic, his son, and his men would come after me. I’ve heard far more things about his son than I had been able to find out about Tony. His son is extremely scary. The idea of Dominic Sabatini coming after me causes my stomach to twist painfully. “What do you think I should do?”
“You are going to have to get very close to Tony. Close enough he lets his guard down. Tony is very careful. I told you he has cameras all around and inside his house. They almost never get turned off. And when he’s out of his house, he has men around him pretty much all the time.”
Taking a deep breath, she lets it out slowly. “I heard he’s on the hunt for a new mistress. I’m thinking you need to say you want to work for him. His last two mistresses, they came to work, but he liked them so much he asked them to be his woman instead.”
My jaw drops at her suggestion. I can’t believe she’s serious.
“It’s the only way to get close to him. Tony adores women, like straight-up worships his woman. Once you’ve hooked him, he’ll do almost anything to please you, in bed and out of it. The man is a
dream in bed. Everyone who has fucked him has said they wish all men fucked like he did.”
Lisa chuckles at my shock. “He’s huge, nine inches and thick as fuck, but he’s not one of those assholes who thinks having a big dick is all there is. He gets nine inches actually hurts and ensures there’s never any pain. Unless you like it. There are women who decades later still talk about fucking him as if it was a spiritual experience.”
Oh god, I hate I can’t control my blush. Or the way I’m both shocked and turned on by what she’s saying. I should be grossed out and disgusted. The idea of touching Tony Sabatini, of allowing him to touch me, should be an automatic no. Except...it’s not.
Even though I hate him, there’s no denying Tony Sabatini is an extremely gorgeous man. I know every inch of his face. I’ve studied every picture I managed to find of him for hours, there are all of six of them. Tony Sabatini shunned the camera even before the trial. Almost all the pictures were from the trial and his son’s funeral.
At first, it made me angry Tony Sabatini was beautiful. It wasn’t fair a man was beautiful period. His beauty hid the ugliness below the surface of what he really was. There should be a warning, something to hint at his true nature. All of two things hinted at his capacity for violence, his height and his powerful build.
“Christy? Are you okay?” Lisa studies me with knowing eyes I fear see too much.
I blush again. “Yeah, I just, um. I don’t think I could...he’d know I wouldn’t be able to make a living being a—you know. I mean, who is going to pay for this? There is no way he’s going to want me as a mistress.” I sigh as I plop down at the end of the couch and wave my hand at my body.
“If it hadn’t been for the in vitro, there wouldn’t have been two pregnancies. Eddie informed me often I was the worst fuck he’d ever had. No way would I ever convince anyone I thought I could have sex for a living. If by some insane chance he does, the first time, we—whatever—he’d know I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve only ever been with Eddie. And Eddie was ninety-eight percent missionary with two percent doggy style. My one thing is I got good at giving a blow job to avoid fucking him, but that’s it.”
Lisa blinks, shakes her head, and blinks again. “What in the fuck? There are so many things wrong with what you said I can’t even...I’m so glad he left you. I think it would have been better if you left him but whatever, thank fuck he’s gone. You are a beautiful woman. So what you aren’t a size four—"
I laugh, “Please try like an eighteen. I’m fat in anyone’s book. The only saving grace I have is I have great tits. And at five foot nine, the weight is a little more evenly distributed. Why would he want this when he could have you?”
“Oh my god, shut up. You do have great tits. And FYI, Tony is a tit man and he hates fake ones. Tony loves all women, one of the women he’s been with I swear was your size or right around there. He doesn’t have a type except he doesn’t like and would never fuck me because of all the work I’ve had done. He prefers natural women, no injections, no fake tits. Tony doesn’t even like fake tanning. The man has been with black women and Asian, I think he would really like that you’re Latina. I know he loves long dark hair. And you are a beautiful woman. I have no doubt with even the smallest enticement, Tony would want you.”
I shake my head, and she smacks me hard on my arm.
“Just because Eddie was an asshole doesn’t mean you aren’t fuckable. I can’t believe you’ve only been with one guy. You and Eddie didn’t hook up until you were, what? Twenty-two, but he left you more than a year and a half ago. Why haven’t you gotten out there?”
I shrug, not able to admit how destroyed I was at the end of the divorce.
“I know what I’m talking about, and I’m not saying it to be nice. You’re totally girl next door pretty at first glance. I love your heart-shaped face with the small cute nose and your lips are sexy as fuck. Women pay to have lips as wide, soft, and thick as you do. With your hazel eyes that are more green than brown, you go from pretty to beautiful.”
Lisa crosses her arms as her eyes run over me, her voice is stern. “You are curvy in all the right places. I’m jealous you have clear golden skin that doesn’t need to tan. Add in long, silky black hair and bitch you aren’t just beautiful, you’re sexy. If I didn’t think Tony or anyone would pay good money to fuck you, we wouldn’t be talking about this. I would have come up with something else.”
Despite her vehement argument, I find myself shrinking at the idea of anyone thinking I’m sexy. It’s not a word I’ve ever thought of about myself. “I guess my dad being Mexican is finally good for something. Actually, if it hadn’t been for the half-Mexican thing, I wouldn’t have gotten so much of my school paid for. And that’s why Eddie was my first and only. I was so focused on school and working at the same time to pay for it so I didn’t have to take a ton of loans out. The nursing program was demanding. I wasn’t going to screw up by getting involved with a guy. I had a vibrator, okay, I had two and they were enough for me. Since Eddie left...”