‘Is she? I can’t imagine it.’
‘I landed on my feet with her. I’ve heard some horror stories …’
(Cameraphone snapper.)
‘But you’ve never had a bad experience? How long have you been doing this?’
‘Physically doing it? A couple of years. In my head – forever.’
‘Yeah, same here with the head thing. I didn’t think I’d ever—’
A group of teenage girls sitting on a five-barred gate shouted lines of dialogue from Celia’s most famous film.
‘Take no notice,’ I said to her.
‘Oh, I don’t mind. Precious little else for them to do around here. Lovely as it is.’
We were down by the river now. It was quiet, a few dog-walkers, but the more intrusive types hadn’t followed us, thank goodness.
She reached for my hand and I took it.
‘How’s your bum?’ I asked. It just sort of came out. It was on my mind, I suppose.
She laughed, anyway, so I hadn’t offended her.
‘Very sore,’ she said. ‘Did you notice I was right on the edge of my seat at supper?’
‘I did.’ I’d enjoyed noticing it. ‘How long does it take to, you know, die down?’
‘Oh, it’ll be all right by tomorrow night, I daresay. Nothing left but stripes and the odd bruise. Just as well I’m not doing any bikini shoots, all the same.’
‘I suppose you have to think about all that. Recovery time.’
‘I have to schedule my play times very carefully. Luckily, Sofia’s understanding.’
‘That’s just as well.’ I can’t stop thinking about her bottom, neatly striped and probably still throbbing. ‘You’re not still wearing that plug, I take it?’
‘No, God, no. Half an hour of that one is my maximum.’
‘I’d love to look at those stripes again.’
She stopped and gave me this odd look, sort of fearful and excited. Then she looked around the river bank, which was empty now.
‘Is that an order?’ she said in a low voice.
‘Is it? No, I don’t think so. I was just saying …’
‘The thing is, Richard, sir, Sofia’s rule for the weekend is that I have to obey everything I’m asked to do. Everything. Unless it’s completely awful, of course, then I can safeword. My safeword is “cut”, by the way.’
‘Oh, I see.’ I thought I could see where this was heading, but it seemed a bit too good to be true. ‘And you’re, uh, fine with this, are you?’
‘It depends who’s doing the ordering. Julian’s been trying to wind me up all day, telling me to fetch this and carry that. Even made me flog him. Silly little twonk. He’s so jealous of the attention I get from Sofia. I like you, though. I loved the way you were with me, earlier. When I was over your knee.’
I got a bat of the famous lashes. It did the trick. Whatever she wanted me to do to her, I was more than game.
I looked along the towpath. Still empty, but there was no guarantee that it would stay that way. No proof against telephoto lenses either. But perhaps that turned her on.
‘Aren’t you afraid of getting caught? You’re famous. Anyone could be following us.’