Beneath the banner of a well-known celeb gossip website was a series of fuzzy photographs. But, while they might be indistinct, Jasper’s profile was clearly visible. And so was my bottom, sticking right out, and with unmistakable bruising where the hairbrush had exacted its vengeance earlier on.
‘They can’t do that, can they?’ I said in a panic. ‘Privacy and all that. They can’t.’
‘I think they already have, love.’
Chapter Ten
‘Is it much further?’
We were two hours out of London, speeding across flat land interspersed with windmills and bulb fields. It was unfamiliar country to me and I’d never seen so many dikes. In fact, I don’t think I’d even seen one dike. East Anglia seemed to be dike central, though. To make up for the lack of hills, presumably.
‘Not far now,’ he said.
‘Does she live in a windmill?’
He turned to me with a curl of his lip.
‘Ha-ha, no, she doesn’t.’
I was nervous for a million reasons. We were meeting Jasper’s mother, a full month before the proposed Christmas date, because she could provide a haven away from curious eyes.
We’d both had to turn our phones off. They’d gone crazy.
I’d left a message with Mum and Dad not to worry. Of course, they’d see the pictures – not of their own accord, because they rarely went online, but no doubt they’d be alerted to them by well-meaning friends. Or ill-meaning enemies.
The only saving grace was that the pictures were deemed ‘unsuitable for a family paper’ – but that wouldn’t stop the gossip mags printing them, of course. Jasper had tried for an injunction but it seemed to be too late. The fact that we had been in a public place, at a public event, meant that we could hardly claim invasion of privacy.
We were just going to have to suck it up. But not today. Today we were in hiding.
‘What if we get arrested?’ I asked for the dozenth time.
‘We won’t get arrested,’ said Jasper, but he didn’t sound as confident as he usually did.
‘We might. Outraging public decency.’
‘Darling, whatever happens, we’ll be fine. Slap on the wrist at most.’
‘I could lose my job.’
‘Not if you work for me.’
‘Oh, Jasper.’
‘Seriously. Even if you don’t want to act, I’m going to need a historical researcher for the film. I’ll pay the going rate.’
‘I like working at the museum.’
‘You’ll like working for me even more. Think of the staff incentive scheme we could dream up.’
‘That’s what’s got us into this pickle in the first place. Honestly, Jasper, you can’t do what you like when you like. There are laws.’
He sighed. ‘You’re such a good citizen. You respect authority.’
‘You know I do.’
‘All authority,’ he clarified. ‘Not just mine.’
‘Not true. I don’t respect authoritarian dickheads.’