At ten to six, my putative punisher walked through the door, golf bag ominously slung over his shoulder. He did not wave, or smile, or acknowledge me in any way, but simply strode up to the desk, purposeful as the Terminator.
'Good afternoon, Sir,' I quavered, my fingers slipping on the keycard as I fished it off its hook.
'Young lady,' he said formally.
'You're in room 137,' I told him. 'It's pretty soundproof.'
'I should certainly hope so,' he said, then he lowered his voice. 'I will expect you in ten minutes. Don't be late.'
He swivelled on his heel and headed for the lift, the golf bag rattling behind him.
Ten minutes later, in the first-floor corridor, fear and excitement were gummed together, all twisted up and inseparable in my stomach. Lower down in the crotch area, excitement was winning the day, though, routing fear up into the far reaches of my brain, where it had run up against the forces of rationalisation.
It will be fun, they said. He is experienced. He will know how far is too far, and will stop well before that point. I will know how it feels, so I don't have to wonder any more. I might like it. I probably will like it, if those sticky night-time fantasies of merciless taskmasters are anything to go by. Merciless taskmasters. Chase. Oh, if only Dr Lassiter could be him.
I knocked on the door.
He opened it slowly and stood at the crack, ushering me in with a look so genuinely terrifying that I reconsidered my plan for a second.
'So you are here. I applaud your courage,' he said, directing me to the centre of the room where I was to stand, feeling spotlit, while he ran through the drill.
'Sophie, I gather that this is entirely new to you. You have never practised submission?'
'No, nothing like it, really. Maybe in a very playful form, but . . . you know . . . that's all.'
'I see. And which aspects of this practice do you most wish to try out? I can accommodate most tastes. What would you like to gain from today's session?'
Lassiter was circling me, not in an intentionally intimidating way, but I felt intimidated all the same. And I quite liked it. It reminded me of being in Chase's office.
'What you were doing with Rachael,' I began haltingly. 'That's what I want to try. It doesn't have to be a scene or anything. You don't have to role-play. I just want to know what it feels like.'
'Corporal punishment?'
The words gave me a frisson. 'Yes.'
He smiled, not reassuringly. 'Well, given the circumstances that led you here, that would be entirely appropriate. I was tempted to bend you over the chair with Rachael and stripe the pair of you last week, I must admit.'
'I'm sorry about that,' I repeated. 'It was a difficult call.'
'Well, you called wrong, didn't you? But never mind. You will pay for it.'
Something in his sinister tone was causing patches of wet warmth to seep into my knickers. I almost felt like kneeling and begging for mercy, and yet I didn't want mercy. I wanted punishment.
'Before we proceed,' said Dr Lassiter, 'I need to make a couple of things clear. First of all, do you have a safeword?'
'Oh . . . I suppose I should . . .'
'I see you haven't thought of this. We shall use the traffic light system then. You may call ''amber'' if you want me to ease up or slow down or you need to tell me something. If you call ''red'' you want me to stop, unequivocally. Does that make sense to you?'
'Yes,' I said gratefully. 'Red to st
op altogether, amber to change or slow down. Green if it's good, yes?'
'Yes. Perhaps ''bearable'' rather than ''good''.' There was a hint of ghoulish humour behind his clipped phrasing. 'Secondly, do you expect any sexual element to the experience? It's entirely up to you.'
'Ah.' I had been unsure of this, but was glad he was asking the question rather than making an assumption. Dr Lassiter was not what you might call a handsome man, and he was older than my usual type, but his dry verbiage and his absolute poker-straightness were strangely compelling. I would only have to go and masturbate afterwards anyway. 'Well, I think I would like you to be in charge, completely. Consider my body yours to use however you want. You know, as part of . . . the price I have to pay. That seems to be the way the dynamic should be, if it's going to be hot instead of just painful.'
'Mine to use however I want?' His eyebrows jumped; he was taken aback. 'That is a reckless invitation, Sophie. It's lucky for you that I am a gentleman, isn't it?'