All my optimism vanished with the first impact of wood on flesh.
I actually screamed – it was so much more painful than I anticipated.
‘Calm down, now, or there’ll be more. Count it.’
He sounded rattled, maybe because he hadn’t thought it would hurt me this much.
‘One,’ I said. ‘That’s very, very painful. I don’t think I can do eight.’
‘Can you try?’
‘Oh … I don’t know … oh, go on then.’
‘We can take a break if you need to. But I’m going to give you all of them.’
I’m pretty sure he didn’t put as much of himself into the next one. It was less shocking, but perhaps that was because I knew what to expect.
I still felt that he’d burned an oval bruise, deep into my tissues.
He rubbed me again after the third and whispered in my ear that he was proud of me.
That worked wonders. I was able to take all of the last five, in quick, hard succession, without much more than a few little whimpers before the count.
‘There,’ he said. ‘Lesson learned?’
‘Yes,’ I promised. ‘I’ll eat my lunch every day.’
‘Good girl. Now hold still for just a moment more.’
I didn’t know what he had planned, but I heard a faint click and sensed a flash.
‘Are you taking a photograph?’
‘Yes. I thought we should keep a punishment diary. The book suggests it. It’s valuable for keeping track of recurring bad behaviours and consistency of discipline. I’ll post this picture and you can write up an account of it.’
‘What, now?’
‘Yes, now.’
‘But I was hoping …’
‘Mmm, I know. But the book doesn’t recommend fucking straight after punishment. It makes it seem like a reward, you see. You’re going to have to wait till you get home tonight. And no touching either.’
‘But that’s really harsh!’
‘I know. Come here, though. It doesn’t say I can’t give you a hug.’
I raised my groggy head and crawled over to him. I didn’t want to sit down – my bottom felt very tender and hot still – so I knelt back on my heels and let him enfold me in his arms.
It was a lovely feeling, truly safe and tired and relaxed, despite the ache behind.
‘Thank you,’ I said, the words coming from nowhere.
‘For what?’ He jerked his neck back and looked down at me, quizzically amused.
‘For not laughing at me about this. For taking the trouble to do it properly. For caring.’
‘Hey, no wo