“Where does von Ritter stand in all this?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know about him anymore.”
As if the mention of his name had summoned his spirit, they were interrupted by an oboist called Liz, who popped her head around the door and said, “Ah, Lydia. I’ve been looking for you. Von Ritter wants you. He says to meet him by the stage door.”
The scene of the crime.
“I’d better go,” said Lydia nervously.
“That’s another fine mess you’ve got yourself into,” quoted Vanessa, shaking her head.
“I know. I wish I could have a simple relationship, like you and Ben.”
“Oi. Nothing simple about seeing a man half your age.”
“Sorry. But you know what I mean. All happy and loved up and…normal.”
“Go on. You’d better find von Ritter before he turns into Herr Trigger. I’ll see you after the show for a drink, yeah?”
“Yeah. Bye.”
Lydia slouched towards the stage door, unwilling to talk to von Ritter, no matter what he had to say. When he’d made Sarah blow him at the BDSM club, Lydia had been so hurt and upset, but now the incident didn’t seem to figure in her emotional landscape at all. Everything was about Milan again. How was she going to explain this to von Ritter? And what was the point of loving Milan when he couldn’t be loved, anyway? Vanessa was right. It was one big, unholy mess.
Von Ritter was with Sarah when she found him. Good, she thought. Perhaps they’ll get together.
But he didn’t seem very happy with either of them.
“I need an explanation, please,” he said. “Sarah says it’s about what happened at the club, but you said it wasn’t. So whom should I believe?”
Lydia looked at her watch—only five minutes until they were due back on stage. She wouldn’t need to spin this out for too long. She just needed to stonewall him for a few minutes.
“Believe who you like,” she said. “It’s between me and Sarah.”
“Don’t make me angry, Lydia.”
“Would I not like you when you’re angry?” she asked with defiant cheek.
His brow shadowed and she took an instinctive step back. There was her answer.
“We will talk alone after the concert,” he decreed. “But I want both sides of the story. Otherwise I have no choice but to apply to the trustees to take disciplinary action against you both.”
“I bet you’d enjoy that,” said Lydia, and she saw Sarah’s lips curve up in a smirk, as if they were sharing a joke.
Von Ritter’s fist crashed into the stage door.
“Lydia! This is serious!”
“Ask her again,” said Sarah with a languid glance at a torn fingernail. “She won’t deny it. She’s just jealous because I blew you at the club.”
“Is this true?” Von Ritter looked less than convinced. “We need to discuss it.”
“What’s to discuss? You fucked around with another woman.”
“It wasn’t… It’s not like that. In domination and submission, things can be different. There is sharing and… I should have explained it to you. It’s my fault, I accept that. But I don’t want it to finish things between us. That’s the last thing I want.”
“Perhaps I should leave you two…” suggested Sarah.
Lydia reached out and grasped her by the wrist.