Was she okay with that? She glanced sidelong at him, watching as the wind stirred his dark hair. He gave her a full-out and genuine smile.
For the first time she really let herself consider the notion of attempting a longer-term relationship.
His phone lit up on the side table with a text, and his smile turned to half wattage as he tapped the cell. “I need to check in with Will soon to make sure he arrived in Royal.”
She swallowed, the tart blackberry lingering on her tongue. “Okay, sure. The ice cream and I will keep each other occupied.”
Exhaling hard, Max set his own bowl down. Sadness touched his features, carving a line of worry into his brow. “Will’s had a rough run of it. He’s a new widower and way out of his element as a single daddy to an infant girl.”
“That’s so sad. Single parenting is tough, no question.” Flashes of another time, just over a year ago, scrolled through her mind. Of a fateful knock at her door. Somehow the sound of it had held a foreboding before she’d been able to confirm with her eyes what was being delivered. A military notification.
When she’d approached the door, baby on her hip, she’d known answering that knock would forever change her world.
A chilly wind blew across the balcony, almost as cold as the chill inside her from those memories.
She closed her eyes for a moment, willing the painful past away. “How is Will managing his trip to Royal?”
Standing, he looked down at his phone. “He has a full-time nanny for his daughter.”
“That’s good that he’s able to travel with his child.” She didn’t know how she would have made it through without her children. Those days she’d wanted to curl up under the covers forever, she’d pulled herself from bed each day to take care of Colby and Lexie.
“I didn’t mean to say the nanny and baby always travel with him.” He scrubbed his hand over his chin. “He’s having trouble with grief. I’m sure you understand that.”
“Are you saying he’s having trouble bonding with his daughter?” Jeremy had had difficulty connecting with Colby. She’d credited that to their son crying so much from colic. Then over time, it had become clear there was more than colic.
Another pang shot through her heart.
Max turned the cell phone over and over in his hand. “Will is a good friend, a good person. He won’t abandon his child. Parenting is—and should be—a lifelong commitment.” He held up his phone. “I need to check in with him. It won’t take long.”
She waved her spoon. “Don’t rush on my account. I have plenty here to keep me occupied.”
Natalie turned her attention back to the night skyline as she heard the sliding glass door rumble open, matching Max’s baritone voice as he spoke into the phone. His voice faded, leaving her once again to the quiet of Seattle’s night viewed from a penthouse height.
Taking in the magnificence of the Space Needle, she turned his words over in her head about parenting. She appreciated that he understood that responsibility. Which, of course, he did, given his childhood that had left him abandoned by both his father and his mother.
But parenting as just a responsibility?
There was more. Another element. Love.
It was so important for children to feel their parents’ love. Jeremy had tried with Colby, but he’d clearly felt a closer bond to Lexie and it had broken Natalie’s heart to see the disparity.
She couldn’t help noticing how Max tried equally with both of her children. He didn’t give himself credit, but she could see his ease with both children, feel that he genuinely cared about people without reservations or judgment.
He was a good man.
A good man who lived in Seattle in a concrete palace. The balcony had an idyllic view, but the small space confined by rails clearly wasn’t designed with children in mind. But there was so much space beyond here, out there in Seattle. Could she live here? Could he move his business to Texas?
Could he open his heart to her children?
Her stomach knotted and the spoon rattled back into her bowl. Had he imagined Max’s connection to her children? Because when he was with her family, she couldn’t deny that it felt right. Good. She owed it to herself—and her children—to at least give this relationship a serious chance. She could always invite him back to Cimarron Rose one last time just to see where it led...
What the hell was she thinking letting her thoughts travel those kinds of paths? Visiting Max was about having a fling. Wasn’t it?
She’d just started to find her way in the world again, learning how to build a good life for her children on her own. After the heartbreak of her marriage, did she have the courage to try for more again?
* * *
Back in Royal less than a week later, Max juggled two juice boxes in one hand while he held open Natalie’s refrigerator, looking for the fresh apple turnovers that Natalie had left in the fridge. A surreal wave washed over him.