Bending over her, I held her stare and murmured, “I’ll make you a new deal. You were right when you said sex with you felt different. It could’ve been the eleven years of celibacy that made it so fucking intense, or...it could’ve just been you.”
It was definitely you.
She winced as I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want more. I fucking loved being inside you. I loved how you fought me back. How you fought for more. How explosive it was between us.”
“You think I’d let you sleep with me again if you continue to hold me captive?”
I shrugged. “It’s not like you’ll have a choice, is it?”
“Fuck you.”
“They’ll be plenty of that, I promise. When we get home, you have my word that you will live. I won’t lay a hand on you in violence unless you deserve it. I won’t try to kill you unless you try to run. You can live.”
Her chest rose and fell with rage. “How very kind of you, you bastard. What a fucking joke! Are you that broken that you can’t be kind to anyone? I’m not just someone you can lock away and screw whenever you have the urge, you know! I have a life. A career. I can’t believe I let you inside—”
“Hush.” I cut off her tirade. “I’m sure, in time, I’ll get used to having a pet around the house. But from now on, you’re pulling your weight. You will help me gather and prepare. You will do what I do to ensure we survive winter together. You will open your damn legs whenever I command. You will get on your knees whenever I’m hard. And, who knows, maybe in a few years, when we’ve come to know everything there is to know about each other and we’ve built up something akin to friendship, our terms of agreement can change.”
“I will never be your friend.”
“You’ve been more friend to me than anyone in over a decade—hating me or not.”
She choked as if that meant something to her. As if that small confession affected her. Her body might be affected but her words were cruel. “You’re insane.”
“Perhaps.” I shrugged. “Or just damaged enough to be immune to whatever charms you’re trying to use against me. How am I supposed to know if sex between us wasn’t a lie? You acted as if you wanted my cock, you moaned as I thrust deep inside you, you kissed me back...but was it real? It could’ve all been an act. You could be lying—”
“I came in your arms, you monster. I’ve never felt anything like that with anyone—”
“Yet you’ve never fought for your life before.” Cupping her cheek with my empty hand, I bent and kissed her softly. “It could’ve just been the adrenaline talking.”
She ripped her face away, hissing, “It wasn’t and you know it! That’s why you’re so afraid of me. Why you don’t want me to go. Admit it. You can’t stomach the thought of saying goodbye!”
I stiffened. “Careful.”
“I’m done being careful. If you don’t have the balls to admit it, I will. I’ll confess it for both of us.” Her eyes shot pure fire. “What happens to you when I touch you, huh? Do you feel it? Does it burn in your blood? Does your stomach cramp and heart fist? Has that happened with anyone else?”
Christ yes, I burn. It hurts more than I can stand.
I bared my teeth. “From what I just told you, you should know the answer to that question.”
“Fine. You were abused. I get it. I won’t belittle what you’ve lived through because that isn’t who I am, even if you are using your past to terrorize my future. But I will do whatever’s necessary to wake you the hell up!”
I scowled. “I suggest you rein in your temper.”
“And I suggest you open your damn eyes. There’s something more between us. We both know it. We both don’t want it. We both wish it didn’t exist, and neither one of us understands how it happened, considering we would rather kill each other than be kind. You need to let me go. You need to admit the real reason you can’t is because you’re starting to feel something.” Her cheeks blazed, and her nipples pebbled as her skin puckered with goosebumps.
She acted as if she was about to put a curse on me. Another one. Curses upon curses, layering me in hexes and damnation.
Clamping a hand over her mouth, I growled, “Shut up. You’re just proving your stupidity. Proving that every word out of your mouth is wrong. I should gag you as well as bind. I don’t have to listen to—”
She bit my palm, tore her face away, and spat at my feet. “Gag me, and next time I attempt to kill you, I’ll succeed. Feelings or no feelings.”