No way!
Joshua. Home. Normalcy.
I have to go.
I can’t do this.
I refused to be swayed by sex and stupidity.
His breath drugged me as his fingers tightened around the back of my neck, tugging me the final distance to kiss me deep.
And that was it.
If he wouldn’t end this...
I will.
I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t.
He sighed as his eyes turned soft and trusting. Drunk on our proximity, his shields shattered, his pain nullified.
I’m sorry.
Wrenching backward, I broke his hold and swung my arms up. The metal of the shovel glinted, sharp and ready to strike.
My swiftness took him by surprise as desire fogged his reactions. He blinked as if he couldn’t compute that the first moment of connection was the moment where all connections died.
“What—” He struggled to push himself up.
I had a precious second to choose him or me.
Live or die.
I choose me.
Swinging the shovel, I brought it down.
I whacked the blade against his head.
The clang vibrated through my arms. The heavy thud made my stomach turn over with nausea.
And...it was over.
His body went instantly lax beneath mine. His arms splayed sideways, his palms facing upward, his eyes drifting closed with a groan.
I scrambled off him and stood on shaking legs. My belly tried to retch as I looked down.
Oh, God, what have I done?
Blood trickled from his forehead where I’d struck. His lips stayed parted, still glistening from his tongue. His scruff and long hair made him seem adopted by the wilderness. Leaves trying to blanket him, shadows doing their best to claim him.
I stared and stared, waiting for some sign he was alive.
Nothing.
Throwing the shovel away, I ducked to cup his cheek.
Don’t!
Don’t you dare be like those stupid girls in movies. You’ve just thrown away your weapon. Do not waste this opportunity.
Run!
I froze with indecision.
I’d wanted this. I’d waited for this exact moment. Yet now that it’d arrived, I felt sick with guilt. Something had happened between us, no matter how much I could argue. Something that shouldn’t have happened between two strangers who’d met when they shouldn’t.
I didn’t belong in his world, and there was no way in hell he would fit in mine.
He was going to kill you, Gem!
My hands balled.
I nodded with determination.
It was him or me.
I did the right thing.
But if I left him here alone, he might die. If he’s not dead already. I might’ve caused brain damage. I would be sentencing him to an excruciating end, lying alone in a forest unconscious.
He groaned, his legs twitching.
See, he’s not dead.
He’s coming to.
RUN!
His bruised hand opened and closed; his eyes squeezed together as he twitched.
He’s fine, see? SEE?
Josh popped into my head. My adorable baby brother who would never forgive me for wasting this escape. I owed it to him to return. I owed it to my mother, to me, to the blessed luck I’d enjoyed all my life.
Time to go.
Drinking in one last look of the man who’d made my body sing all while he’d twisted my mind, I imprinted him.
The wild hair, the muscular chest, the thousands of silvery scars. The pain, the shame, the history that’d carved him from a boy into this hard-edged desperately lonely creature.
My heart broke for him.
My body wept for him.
My socked feet backed away.
And then, I turned and bolted.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I HALF RAN, HALF STUMBLED.
I saw double and crashed to my knees. Shaking my head, I snarled at my messed-up vision, demanding it to sort its shit out. Thankfully, the queasiness and vertigo faded a little, giving me a few precious moments to charge ahead, following the tracks of my prey.
When I touched my forehead, my fingertips came away streaked with blood.
She’d struck me.
She’d made me bleed.
She’d left me for dead.
She’ll pay.
I ran faster.
I didn’t know how much of a head start she had or how long I’d been out. The sun’s location hadn’t changed much by the time I’d blinked back the wash of achy blackness and come to. It couldn’t have been that long. Then again, it’d been long enough to ensure her presence in my valley was gone. She’d left behind an emptiness, a cavern that threatened to keep expanding until it swallowed me whole.
That almost kiss.
It’d been...electrifying. Confounding.
The most dangerous and painful thing I’d ever done.
Ever felt.
And look how it ended.
Once again, violence had been wielded against me. Pain had been given when all I’d offered was pleasure.
They’re all the same.
No one can be trusted.
Swaying, I caught a tree branch and kept running.
Anger gave me speed. Betrayal gave me power.
She couldn’t escape.
That isn’t how this story ends.
Shadows enveloped me as I reached the base of the cliff. Her tracks had been easy to follow. Her goal had been swiftness not sneakiness, leaving behind broken twigs, crushed grass, and a pathway that blazed with her direction.
Skidding to a halt, I spied something colorful and abandoned in the undergrowth. Kicking it with my bare foot, it rolled away, water oozing from a crack in the side. Was that hers? A water bottle that she’d left behind in her rush to escape, or had others been so close to my valley and I’d never noticed?