I shoved back hair that’d swung forward and stuck to my cheek. “You expect me to dig my own grave?”
“I expect you to do what you’re told.”
“And if I don’t?”
His lips spread into a thin grimace. “Then I guess I’ll be the one digging.”
I looked down at my feet. At the barren land and the aura of death. “Is that what this place is? A tomb for whoever used to live in that house with you?”
He stiffened. “You think me capable of killing everyone I come into contact with?”
“Absolutely.”
He cocked his head. “If you’re so sure of what I am, then why are you still trying to talk to me? Why are you still being nice?” He raked both hands through his hair, swiping the long wildness behind his ears. “You say you’re lonely. You try to use your own experiences to convince me to open up to you. But what you’re not following is, I have nothing to confess. I have nothing I want to share with you—mentally or physically. I like being alone. I like silence because silence is safe. And you?” He laughed icily, unable to hide the pain lying beneath. Pain that took my breath away. “You fuck all of that up. I have no silence. I have no safety. And I’m done.”
He sprung.
Instinct took over.
I parried to the side and raised the shovel.
Bowling into me, he tried to tackle me to the earth. If I hadn’t refreshed myself on self-defense moves, I would’ve fallen and been his before I hit the ground. Instead, I let muscle memory take over.
I rolled with him.
I kicked out my leg and struck his thigh, sending him collapsing onto his back. His hands reached for my throat, throwing his whole weight at me. My hands clutched the shovel. In a sharp twist, I wrapped my legs around his torso and spun upward instead of letting him pin me into the dirt.
He didn’t get my throat, but he did snatch my arms.
That connection sent shockwaves through both of us.
My legs spasmed around his waist.
Electricity struck us as if a lightning bolt had shot from the sun.
For a second, everything stopped.
Nothing else mattered.
Only shock and lust and pain.
So much fucking pain.
We were a collision.
A disturbed, confused, broken demolishment of everything that we’d been before this.
This.
Oh, God.
What is this?
Shock widened his eyes, mirroring mine. We quaked as we paused in our fight. Our bodies trembled as if we hummed at the same bone-breaking frequency. His heart pounded into mine, drilling its way into my chest, trying to understand what the hell was happening.
Black desire drenched him as his hands turned hot against my skin, digging into my biceps as the icy madness left his stare, unable to hide the complex depth he hid.
My core went wet.
My heart went wild.
I wanted him as much as I wanted to be free.
Apologies once again glowed in his dark gaze. Awe and fascination, interest and fear all morphed together and painted his face with the truth.
Each flicker of emotion sliced and diced me. It corrupted my mind from hurting him to helping him. Helping the man intending to kill me.
Gem!
Stop it!
His hips rocked up, sending more blood-scorching currents through me. I matched his rock, sitting heavier on him, disgusted with myself that I could fight him but not me.
A hoarse groan escaped him.
I sucked in a breath.
For a split second, his lips parted, and his hands came up to cup my face. His thumbs traced my cheekbones with the most exquisite reverence and care. His eyes dropped to my lips. His throat worked as he swallowed. The tightness in his body melted into need.
And it affected me.
Even in a grief-filled forest after being marched by my killer, my body reacted.
My breasts swelled, my heart kicked, and my traitorously wet core clenched with vicious hunger.
His hand swept from my cheeks to my nape. He pulled me down, down to his mouth.
I folded over him.
I licked my lips, every part of me tingling, thankful, hopeful that this was the moment where I saved both of us. Where he finally gave in to accepting something existed between us. Something neither of us was looking for nor wanted, but something that couldn’t be denied.
I want him.
And that scrambled my mind because how, why, what was I thinking?
You’re not.
You’re in shock.
It’s time to go, Gem.
Power siphoned down my arms. The handle of the shovel grew heavy, coaxing me to use it.
Do it.
Do it now.
This is your last chance!
His mouth grazed mine.
My heart lurched in a way it had never lurched before. Ripping free from arteries, kicking away veins as if they were ropes holding it within me, ready to commit treason by choosing him.
The horror that I could want someone who’d treated me so cruelly made common sense rush back like a tsunami.