"That is the question, isn't it?" Jade sighs, rubbing her forehead. Her color looks a little better now, her lips less bleached. The sweat on her skin is gone, so that's good. "I haven't had a chance to sit and really talk with her like we did on the ship. I'm sure she's fascinated with him, and he's attractive enough—though he's no Adiron." Her lips curve into a smile. "And I'm sure she's curious about sex and a lot of other things. I'm also sure she feels like she has to attach herself to someone now that you and I have both claimed a brother. So beyond all that…I don't know. What I do know is that Mathiras is aware of all these things and is being very gentle and careful with her."
"And she hates it," I point out, grinning.
"Oh, she does." Jade chuckles. "But she's determined to win him over."
Poor guy. Helen can be very, very determined. I study my friend, who has always been so rational and even-keeled. Jade's not the type to rush into things. She is the deliberate one, the one that tries to think everything through before she moves, the one that tries to protect everyone else from the universe. She was our ship “mom” and leader inasmuch as we had one. So to find out that she's “mated” and shacked up with Adiron (and pregnant) in the time we were gone is a little surprising. It's very un-Jade. "And you fell for Adiron because…what? You wanted to end your dry spell? Because I was told you were at least another month along than I am, so that means you ended that dry spell pretty quick."
Jade raises one finger in the air. "Do not even judge me, missy."
I snicker. "I mean, I'm just trying to line this up with the Jade that took a month to open one of the locked doors on the Star because we didn't know what was on the other side. The Jade that made us eat the same noodles for six months because we didn't know if the others would be toxic to human systems. The Jade that—"
"Okay, okay," Jade says, cutting me off. "I get the picture." But she's smiling despite her sharp words. "Adi just made it…really clear where he stood."
Understatement. Even before Kaspar and I launched in our pod, Adiron had made it quite clear that he was utterly intoxicated with Jade. "And so you jumped his bones."
She swats me. "I did not jump anyone." The look she gives me is half disappointment, half amusement, like she's trying to be mad and can't hide her true feelings. "He just made it very clear that if I wanted to spend our time on the ship getting to know one another, he was open to it. He let the choice be mine. And he…" Her eyes grow soft. "He's just the best man. He pretends to be dumb because he doesn't want to make others uncomfortable. Or so they'll talk around him. He's not dumb, though. He's sweet, and thoughtful, and so, so good. I feel like I can trust him with anything, and he always makes me laugh, you know?" Her eyes crinkle at the corners. "I didn't realize how serious I'd gotten until he came along. He reminds me that we need to do more than just survive. We need to live. We need to be happy." She lets out a little sigh and relaxes back on the couch again, as if defending Adiron has taken all her energy. "And you know me. I try to look after everyone. Adiron knows that and he looks out for me. He makes sure someone's looking after me, too. And…it's really nice."
My pregnancy tears threaten to rise again. Jade sounds so happy. So…complete. I didn't realize she was so sad and serious inside. That she felt like she had to be strong for everyone else. She'd always just taken up that role without asking. But there's something more relaxed about her now. More…settled. She's happy. "I'm so glad for you," I choke out, sniffing. When she gives me a worried look, I wipe at my face and smile. "Pregnancy hormones. I cry at everything."
"I puke at everything, so I'm jealous," Jade says, sitting up with slow, delicate motions, as if she's afraid to set her stomach off. She turns toward me, studying my face. "What about you and Kaspar? How did you two fall for each other? How did you know he was the one?"
It feels like far too much to discuss. Like talking about how we've come to rely on each other is the tip of the iceberg, when to really understand it, we'd need to go through every day of the last few months, the small things Kas has done and said that just reinforce that we're right for one another. But I know Jade wants a simple answer. She looks tired, I'm tired, and we still haven't called Helen.