"I'm going to cry again," I tell him, blinking hard.
He swears.
"Good cry," I clarify, sniffing. "Thank you. I love you, too. I'm just scared."
"I know, Sunshine." He pulls me close, stroking my hair. "I know. I'll be with you every step of the way, I promise."
Hearing that does make me feel better. A clone is just a twin, I remind myself. I might just have a stealth twin…or two…out in space somewhere, wearing my face. Learning Helen was cloned didn't change how I felt about her. She was still the same goofy, sweet, irresistible Helen. Nothing's changing. I squeeze Kas and then step back from him, glancing at the tube bed. "So…I get up on this?"
When he nods, I hop up—and Sterre immediately follows, shoving a paw into my lap.
That brings a smile to my face. I chuckle, hugging her thick neck, and when she licks my face, I look over at Kas. "Can she stay?"
His expression softens. "Of course she can, love."
I hold relatively still as the machine wands over me. Even though I'm not lying flat, it adjusts and the robot arms circle and beep and take readings from all angles while I stroke Sterre's head. At one point, one taps on my arm and there's a gentle scrape for a sample, but then it's done.
Kaspar glances at the screen, and then he looks back at me. "You're pregnant."
I burst into tears again. "Good tears," I sob, hugging Sterre's neck. "Good tears."
He lets out a breath. "Thank kef." He glances at the screen again. "You're pregnant, you're slightly iron deficient, and it says you're between four and ten weeks along out of a possible fifty-seven to seventy weeks along."
I beam at him, sniffing.
And then I do the math. "Wait, what? Seventy weeks?"
He gives me an awkward grin. "Uh. I might have forgot to mention a mesakkah female is pregnant for three years."
"Three years?" I shriek. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
88
KASPAR
"I'm dead, aren't I?" I say, inwardly kicking myself at Alice's shocked expression. "I kept meaning to tell you the truth, but there was never a good time for it."
"Three fucking years?" She buries her face against Sterre's neck, her shoulders shaking, and my heart feels like it's in my boots. She's crying again, weeping her heart out at the thought of being trapped in a hormonal, pregnant body for that long. My poor Sunshine.
Then, my poor Sunshine lifts her head, and I realize her shoulders aren't shaking with tears. She's laughing. Her hand goes to her belly and she howls, cracking up. "All this time I've been worried that I'm a clone and I didn't even think about being pregnant for three fucking years," she wheezes. "Jesus Christ on a cracker."
I'm just so relieved to see her laughing that I chuckle. "I'm sure Fran can tell you how long it actually ends up being. I don't think she was pregnant with her child nearly as long as that. You humans just breed much faster than us."
"Three years," she gasps, wiping tears of amusement from her eyes. "Good lord." She shakes her head. "I guess after hearing that, everything else gets put into perspective." Alice glances over at me. "Will that machine tell you if I'm a clone? If I have the markers?"
I go still. "Yes. But we don't have to check if you don't want to. Like I said, it doesn't matter to me." All that matters to me is Alice, and she's gone through a lot already. All I want to do is shield her from the universe. If that means changing identities and hiding out on a distant asteroid for the rest of our days, I'm perfectly willing to do so. Maybe Jerrok can hook us up with someplace quiet and out of the way.
Alice nods. "I still want to know. Better to rip the band-aid off and all that."
"You're sure?"
"Positive." She extends her hand out to me, and I realize she wants to hold onto me while we find out the truth. She can hold onto me for all the rest of our days, as far as I'm concerned. I'll never let her go. Ever.
I put in the request for the med-bay, and Alice remains perfectly still, her gaze locked on me, as the bots scrape her arm and take a blood sample. The system whirrs, and then chimes with a response, her results pulling up on the screen.
My stomach clenches. I think I've fought entire fleets with less nervousness than what I feel right now. Alice is calm and steady, though, and I'm so keffing proud of her, my fierce and beautiful corsair mate. I glance at the screen.
And exhale. "You're not a clone. No markers."
Alice takes a deep breath, considering this. She nods slowly. "Do you think Jade and Ruth…?"
"I don't know. I haven't asked. I'm sure it'll come up at some point." I squeeze her hand. "It sounds like Jade and Adiron are together, judging by what Zoey said. My brother's an idiot, but he's a good idiot. Even if she's a clone, it won't change how he feels about her." I manage a smile. "It'll probably fuel a few dirty fantasies of his, though."