“I have wet wipes in my purse. That sticky face—”
“It’ll still be sticky in ten minutes. Just take a break. You don’t have to be on. Just settle in.”
I listened to him without arguing. I scooted over until his upper arm was against my shoulder. I took a breath and stretched my legs out.
“You look like you could nod off any minute now too,” he teased. “You could use a nap, too, eh? You’ve been up since, what? Five?”
“Four-thirty. I had to bake pies.”
“Then take ten minutes, have a cat nap in the sun.”
I sighed, “I would, but it doesn’t look right. Out here in the park, me sitting too close to you. I don’t want anyone who walks by getting the wrong idea, upsetting Sadie about something that isn’t even—”
“You think too much, Rachel,” he said.
“I know! Me out of all people,” I told him.
He smirked. “Take a break. For me.”
“Fine,” I sighed, and I tipped my head maybe two inches to the right until it rested against his bicep and shoulder. I felt tension go out of me, felt the warmth of his body solid against me. I felt—safe and whole and happy. I decided not to overthink it. I shut my eyes, the sun still bright behind my eyelids, and relaxed against him. I didn’t sleep but I dozed, warm and relaxed, drifting a little. I felt what I thought were his lips brushing against my hair, but I couldn’t be sure. I just let myself have this, a few moments peace on a park bench.
“Can I go down the slide?” I heard Sadie ask. Her dad answered her in a whisper, and I heard her footsteps as she scampered off. Then I drifted back off and the next thing I knew, Sadie’s voice was in the distance calling for someone to watch what she could do. I stirred a little.
“Shh. It’s okay. I’m watching her,” his voice was close to my ear.
“Mmm,” I mumbled and started to slip back into sleep. At once, I shook myself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall sleep. I’ll go—”
“She’s fine. I’ve been right here the whole time. You’re not working. You’re just hanging out with us. You’re allowed to rest.”
“Did you tell her to be quiet because I was asleep?” I asked, mortified.
“Yes, I did. Because I want her to be a considerate person.”
“She is. I just—fell asleep in public. On you.” I rubbed my eyes, embarrassed.
“I think I invited you to come here with us, and to take a rest. What’s the problem? Are you supposed to be invincible and since I’m from out of town I didn’t get the memo? You’re human. Let yourself have a break.”
“You build stuff in your free time when you’re not chopping down trees and raising a kid. You don’t take any breaks.”
“If I take a break, I’ll notice that I’m lonely, Rachel. That’s why I like to keep busy.”
I gaped at him, astounded that he’d just confessed his loneliness, to the nanny, in fact.
I felt such a pull toward him, such a powerful desire to kiss him, to feel his arms around me, to show him that he didn’t need to be lonely at all. It was half sympathy, half pure romantic feelings. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him and kiss him, sweetly, reassuringly, until he felt that sadness fill up with something better.
“Do you ever get lonely?” he asked, and the serious way he looked at me made me almost quake inside.
“I don’t let myself think about it. Mostly I’m busy with work, or I’m with my friends, or playing with Brenna over at Laura’s house. At night, I guess I’m lonely sometimes. But I’m normally so tired I don’t dwell on it,” I said.
I got up and went to where Sadie was going down the slide. It was a short plastic one on the little kids’ playset. I held out my hand and she took it. We went to the taller slide and I climbed up behind her, took her down the slide on my lap. She squealed excitedly and wanted to go again. After a few more trips down the slide, and in spite of the ice cream we’d had, I heard her tummy growl.
“Are you hungry again?” I asked. She grinned.
“Can you come for supper? Please?” she said.
“Sadie, Rachel gave up her afternoon off for us. She may have plans tonight to see her friends.”
“Or a boyfriend!” Sadie crowed. I laughed.
“I don’t have one of those,” I told her. “But I could go for some Chinese takeout. Anybody want some?”
“I like shrimp and noodles!” Sadie said.
“What about you?” I asked Max. “Is it okay with you if I stay for supper?”
“Yes, but only if you’re sure. I don’t want to intrude on your personal time.”