“That’s amazing. I’m gonna overstep all over the place right now so brace yourself, Max. Knowing a little of how you grew up, and what a departure this must be for you, living in a cabin in the woods and cutting down trees, building your whole life around raising your daughter on your own—it’s pretty damn impressive that you’re doing this. It was really brave.”
Rachel smiled in a way that softened her face, that stunned me. I felt like she saw me, like she understood even a fraction of what I’d given up, the changes I’d made. The curves of her pretty face were transformed into something serene and beautiful that seemed totally out of place in my living room, like she belonged in a painting on a museum wall, with that gentle, wise smile on her lips.
I wanted to kiss her more than I’ve ever wanted to kiss anyone in my life. More than when I was club-hopping at twenty-two and picking up runway models. More than anyone, ever. I caught my breath because I could almost feel it, the brush of my lips over the sweet curve of her mouth, her gasp of surprise that would let my tongue slide in her mouth. Then it would be anything but sweet—a hot, wet, passionate kiss we wouldn’t come up from for hours. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, aware of how hard I was. I swallowed and didn’t know what to say to her.
“I made it weird, I know,” she sighed self-deprecatingly. “But it had to be said. You did a really good thing, and Sadie’s wonderful. I’m really looking forward to spending time with her.”
“She’s looking forward to it, too. And you didn’t overstep. I was the one who shared too much about my upbringing and about Sadie’s origins. It wasn’t necessary, and I apologize. I won’t make any more personal confessions going forward.”
“Is it just me or has tonight been a lot of promising never to do things again?” she said with a smile. I felt relieved by her reaction, and I nodded.
“We’re learning our way. It’s new,” I acknowledged. New and way too easy, I thought ruefully. Talking to her came so naturally, and I had overshared without meaning to. She had responded, warmed to me, and it just went to show how susceptible I was to her particular attractions that my whole body had canted toward her and turned hot and hard. I wanted to press her down into the cushions, feel every curve of her body pressed to mine, the rise and fall of her breath and her hands in my hair. It was a wild impulse, and I clenched my fists waiting for it to pass.
“Don’t—bring any friends over,” I said.
“I hadn’t planned on throwing a party at your cabin,” she said with a chuckle.
“I mean—a boyfriend. No men.”
“Wow, really? I’m not going to bring a guy over. That’s insulting,” she said, a small frown appearing on her face.
“I wasn’t trying to insult you. I don’t bring anyone around Sadie, don’t have women in and out of the cabin or anything. She’s not exposed to any casual relationships and I want to maintain that standard.”
Rachel nodded. “Got it.”
“Look, I’m not trying to imply anything. Although I realize I kind of did, and I’m sorry. As I said, I’m overprotective to a fault. I’m also a single dad so I’m used to calling all the shots when it comes to Sadie. I’m not exactly gracious about it, I guess, and I can do better.”
“Listen, I completely understand what you’re getting at. She’s your number one priority.”
“I just want the expectations between us—not between us—on the job, to be clear so there’s no confusion.”
“No offense, Max. But I’m going to take care of a six-year-old. It’s not rocket science. I take it seriously, and I’ll make sure she’s safe as well as entertained, but you have got to loosen up about this. You look like you’re facing a firing squad.”
“I trust you. I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t. Like I said, I’m—”
“A total control freak? I got that. Hopefully it’s a perfectionist thing you’ll get over. I know you’re a good dad, and you just want to make sure Sadie is in good hands. She is. You can relax, if that’s a thing you do.”
“What does that mean?”
“In your spare time you make furniture? You work and you’re a single parent. There is no spare time. I know what it’s like trying to fill every minute. It’s probably weird to hear a waitress say she’s a workaholic. That’s the kind of thing they say about, I don’t know, lawyers. People with really important jobs.”
“You’re the manager. And baker and waitress and now a nanny,” I said. “And soon an owner.”
“Hopefully, yes.”
“You have more ambition than anyone I’ve met in years, Rachel,” I said.