no longer a virgin.
In a way, I expected something to have changed about me, something that other people would be able to notice. That I’d look different or something, though of course that was not the case at all. Well, I looked more tired, maybe, since Ian and I had been up most of the night having sex, then spent most of Sunday together, doing the same. My inner thighs were so sore, but in a good way.
When Caroline texted and asked me if I wanted to meet up at Failte after I got out of work, I said yes. Ian had left early because he had a meeting with a manager at a big petrochemical plant, somewhere out near Worcester, who was looking to switch security firms.
When I got to Failte, she was sitting at one of the small tables, with two bottles of IPA.
“I took the liberty of ordering you a drink,” she said.
“Awesome, thank you,” I said as I slid onto the smooth wooden chair. I was trying to contain my grin but not doing a very good job of it. She looked toward the door. “Ian’s not here with you?”
“No, he’s at a meeting. Well, he might be done with it now, but it was out in Central Mass.”
She nodded. “Got it.”
“So,” I said. “What’d you think? Isn’t he great?”
She didn’t say anything right away, but then just shook her head. “Sorry, Daisy,” she said finally. “I just didn’t like him.”
For a second, I thought she was joking. But then she continued. “I really don’t think he should be the one you lose your virginity to.”
I tried to keep my face neutral. I took a sip of my beer. “Really? Why?”
“I just . . . don’t.” She pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d really thought she’d like him, and the fact that she seemed so against him was quite surprising. “What is it you don’t like about him?” She’d been right there at the table—hadn’t she been able to see that magnetism between us? A complete stranger had—surely she had been able to, too! “And are you being serious right now?” I asked. “I thought you guys really seemed to hit it off. You were laughing at what he said. You were making jokes with him.”
“I was trying to be nice. And what jokes?”
“The joke about the wasabi?” That was the only one I could remember right then, but I knew there had been more.
“That wasn’t a joke,” she said. “Though I think he took it as one.”
“So you really didn’t like him.”
She shook her head. “Honestly? I liked Billy better. And he seemed into you.”
“But I don’t like him like that. What didn’t you like about Ian?”
“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging. “He just . . . he just seemed kind of arrogant, I guess. But subtly. Not like some grandiose, showboating asshole, which maybe would make things easier. It was really subtle, and at first I wasn’t even sure why I didn’t like him, because you’re right—he’s hot as fuck, but he’s also arrogant as fuck. And kind of possessive. You guys aren’t even going out.”
“He didn’t seem that possessive. And . . . we kind of are.”
She winced. “What?”
“We haven’t talked about it or anything, but one of the girls that was sitting near us, she came out of the bathroom when I was in there and she asked me if Ian was my boyfriend. It kind of caught me off guard, actually, but I said he was.”
Caroline sighed. “Just because you say he is to some person you don’t even know doesn’t mean he actually is. And if you guys haven’t talked about it yet, then I think you should just run the other direction, while you still can.”
“Run in the other direction?” I said with a laugh. “I work with him, Caro. He’s my boss. It doesn’t matter what direction I run—I’ll just be seeing him again next time I go back to work.”
“Yeah,” she said slowly, “that’s the other thing. Don’t you think it’s a little weird to get involved with your boss? Isn’t that against some policy or something? Or just a bad idea, career-wise?”
“It’s not maybe the most . . . orthodox thing ever,” I said, “but I certainly wouldn’t be the first person to ever get involved with her boss. And besides, the whole thing is very exciting. I feel like I deserve some—good—excitement in my life after this whole thing with Noah.”
“No one deserves something like that thing with Noah.”
“So maybe he’ll leave me alone if I’m with someone else. That will be the way he gets it through his head.