And just like that, the phone call was over and I felt even worse than I had felt before. He didn’t even apologize for not calling me the entire time. For all I knew, he had totally forgotten about me and was just happy to be so far away and not have to deal with me.
Tears started to fall down my cheek. I didn’t know why. Erik had been away for a long time already; I had moved past the emotions of him – or at least I thought I had. But the emptiness and awkwardness of our conversation was too raw for me. Whatever it was that we had was definitely not there anymore.
The problem was I felt so much for Erik. I had only sat and waited for his call because I didn’t want to ruin things between us. I had hoped he was working on his treatment program and his new business and was just busy, but clearly he hadn’t thought of me. He probably even thought I was crazy for calling him – or rather my father was crazy.
It was officially over. I was going to have to move on whether I wanted to or not.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Erik
She called me. I hadn’t expected her to call. Well, actually, it was her father who had called. But either way, I was excited to hear from her. Her voice had been so sweet on the phone that it instantly sent me back to when I was with her in Paradise Peak. I even visualized what she looked like and felt how badly I missed her.
After leaving the treatment facility, I had told Spencer what happened between Cassidy and I. I talked about all the plans I had been making in my mind and even about how Cassidy said I should spend six months or so alone and working on my own treatment.
“That’s a smart girl,” he had said. “You need to work on you right now. Don’t call her; don’t deal with all of that. You’ve got to keep yourself on track.”
“Maybe I’ll just call and check in with her,” I had told him.
“No. Call in six months when you’ve got your life together and then see how things are. You’re always rushing things in your life and not everything should be rushed.”
It seemed logical when Spencer and I had talked, but as I talked with Cassidy, I felt more and more like an asshole for not calling. The connection between us was still strong; I felt the physical chemistry even through the phone. But she didn’t sound like herself. She sounded sad, and I absolutely hated that. I was angry that I might have had any part of making her feel like that.
Life was going well for me. I had taken the last six months to work on myself and my business. I was going to AA meetings and participating in programming. I had a personal trainer and was eating healthier than I had been before…although I did eat meat again.
Spencer and I had made our deal to produce movies, and it was exhilarating to be part of it all. Movies were such a great way to transform people. In one movie, you could make people feel happy, sad, and excited.
Nothing in my life had ever come without hard work, though, and the movie studio was no different. But this time instead of letting myself get lost in the high level of work, I made it a point to schedule time for myself.
I had a new personal assistant who was fabulous at getting me out of my office everyday by a quarter to six so I could make my AA meeting on time. I was open and honest with the people in my life, and that seemed to be working really well for me.
Even my family and I were getting along better than I could ever remember. They had finally gotten over the shock of me paying off their debts and were finally able to relax and hire a full-time funeral home director to take some of the pressure off of them.
My brother even had a girlfriend now who I was beyond excited to meet when I flew back for the Fourth of July. Heath sounded pretty excited about this girl, and she sounded like a really nice woman.
When I had answered the phone call from Cassidy’s phone, I really thought it was her. I had put her phone number into my phone the day I left the treatment facility. I had pulled her number up a couple of times, but then hung up when I couldn’t think of what I wanted to say to her.
If I hadn’t already made plans to go to my family’s house for the holiday, I would have definitely have gone to Bob’s event. I hoped that he didn’t think I had just denied it because I was too busy working. I wanted to see Cassidy. I needed to see her.
From the time I talked with Cassidy on the phone until the moment my plane landed at home and I greeted my brother, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She had consumed my mind. Not just because we had finally got to talk, but also because I felt like I had done her wrong. She had to know I still cared about her. Even though I was busy with my life, I thought about her all the time.
My thoughts must have shown through as my brother picked me up from the executive airport and drove me back to his house.
“Well, you are either in love or you’ve got pneumonia,” he joked. “You look like shit.”
“There’s a girl. She asked me to come to Aspen to a big party at her parents’ resort, and I said no because I was coming here. I think she thought I just didn’t want to come.”
“Then call her and tell her you want to come,” Heath said without hesitating.
He said it like there was n
o other option. In his mind, the whole thing seemed so simple, but in my mind, I had made it as complex as it could possibly be. I was terrified of rejection. I couldn’t stand the thought of showing Cassidy how I felt and having her turn me down. I really didn’t know how I would deal with something like that.
“But I told you and Dad I’d be here.”
Heath just started to laugh. I loved his laugh; it seemed like it had been years since he had been happy. He had met the woman of his dreams – a big part of why he was so damn happy lately – and now he was encouraging me to go after the woman of my dreams.
“Come meet my woman, have some lunch, give Dad a hug, and then take your fancy jet to Aspen and see this girl. You should know better than anyone that life is too short to miss opportunities to show people you care.”