Being a SEAL had been my life for the past ten years. I lived, ate, and breathed the Navy. But there had always been a part of me that was still back here in New Hampshire. A part that fought for space in my heart along with being a SEAL. And on more than one occasion, I was almost ready to give it up and come back to her.
Willamina.
That was, until she found someone else and married him. I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t given her a single ounce of hope that we would ever be together.
I shook off thoughts of Willa and took in the sight before me. I had missed Boggy Creek more than I’d realized. The leaves were beginning to turn shades of yellow and orange, with dots of red sprinkled in as the cooler weather hinted at fall. The pond where my father had taught me to swim and fish sat a few hundred yards away from the house that my mother and grandfather now lived in.
My mind drifted as I watched a weeping willow tree dip her branches in at the water’s edge. The clear blue sky reflected in the pond, and I couldn’t help but notice the peace that settled over me as I took it all in. A peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
A peace I knew would be gone the moment I lay down and closed my eyes tonight.
“Aiden?” Hunter asked as I turned back to him. He lifted a brow. “You got lost in thought there for a few moments. Why didn’t you let me know you were coming home?”
I gave a halfhearted shrug as I took a long drink from my beer and then answered him truthfully. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t really want to come home. At least not like this. I wanted to come back home on my own terms, not because some fucking idiot blew out my knee with a bullet and ended my career as a SEAL.”
Hunter looked out toward the pond and sighed. “Listen, Aiden, I’m sorry to hear about your knee and all. I know how much it meant for you to be a SEAL. It’s been your life for a long time.”
I shrugged once more. “Yeah, well, the only other option was to stay in the Navy and teach other SEAL teams. I probably would have stayed and done it if my mother hadn’t told me about Granddad being so sick.”
Or the fact that Willa was getting a divorce and would be free once again. That little thought stayed tucked away though.
“Once I found out about Granddad, I decided not to reenlist. I wasn’t about to leave my mother stuck with the business, and let Carl possibly die without his son or grandson around.” I took another long drag from my beer. “Besides, maybe it was time for me to leave, start a somewhat normal life.”
The words felt like acid as I said them, yet at the same time, it almost felt as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders. They were such conflicting emotions; I wasn’t really sure how to deal with them. Never mind the fact that I was struggling with the idea of seeing Willa. God, I wanted to see that smile of hers. Feel her warmth wrap around me and ease the torment in my own fucking head. Yet, at the same time, I was scared shitless of seeing her. I’d rush into a building under gun fire, but one woman terrified me. It wasn’t that Willa herself scared me, it was the idea of her being free. Of the two of us finally being able to be together. Could I do that to her? Or to her son Ben? With the shit that was going on in my own head, I wasn’t sure I could pull her into it.
Hunter remained silent next to me for a few moments before he chuckled. “You’re not the type of guy to sit around and do nothing, Aiden. Normal life hasn’t ever been two words in your vocabulary. Do you think you’ll be happy running the construction company?”
I didn’t answer because I truly didn’t know. Right now was not the time for me to think about it, not when I was still dealing with the loss of never being a SEAL again.
Hunter reached down and stroked Jack. “I know this is hard for you, and if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
I turned and shot him a smirk. “Are you going to pull the therapist card on me, Hunter? I had enough of that bullshit in the Navy. People wanting me to talk about my feelings. There’s nothing to talk about.”
He shook his head. “No, just offering up an ear if you need someone to listen. I know what it’s like to see things that stay with you, trust me, Aiden. I may not have had the same experiences as you, but I’ve seen things that still haunt me at night. I can’t even imagine what you’ve seen.”