After all they’d been through with their father, there was no way I was just going to let this go. “Actually, I do. Tell me what happened.”
“Gah.” He leaned his head back and groaned, “I should’ve never brought it up.”
“But you did, so spill it.”
“Fine, but it’s gonna gross you out.” He looked down at his phone and started flipping through his pictures. Once he found what he was looking for, he offered it to me. “It’s already been burned into my brain, so it might as well be burned into yours.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’ll see.”
I took the phone from his hand, and my mouth dropped the second I saw what was on the screen. It was a drawer full of various sex toys from dildos and strap-ons to lubricants and butt plugs. Yes, butt plugs. I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Oh my God! Where did you find all this?”
“In Dad’s sock drawer.”
“Why were you looking through his sock drawer?”
Corry looked at me like I had three heads as he answered, “Cause I needed a pair of socks.”
I knew Marc had a thing for porn. He was always sneaking around to watch it when we were married, but I’d never known him to have an interest in these kinds of toys. He was always too proud for anything like that. If I even joked about it, he’d twist things around and make me feel like a whore for wanting more than her husband could give. It was like I’d insulted his manhood. Apparently, that wasn’t the case with Lila Jo. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Marc was never good in bed, so he’d have to be creative to keep a woman like her satisfied. I glanced back down at the picture on the screen and cringed at the sight. “Why in the world would you take a picture of all this?”
“Figured if I had to be mentally scarred, so should Sean.”
“You showed Sean?” I gasped.
“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Cause he’s too young for something like this!”
“I know about sex, Mom,” Sean complained. “I’ve known about it since about third grade.”
“That doesn’t mean we don’t need to talk about all this.”
“Nooo,” they both chimed in.
Corry sat up with a look of panic. “We know all about this stuff, Mom. Dad’s a perv, and we don’t need to be like him.”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“Don’t make a big deal out of all this, Mom. Please.”
“It’s hard not to.” It seemed my animosity for Marc would never fully go away. He wouldn’t let it. He continued to make things difficult, and I despised him for it. “I hate you had to see that. Your father should’ve been more careful. I’m so sorry he wasn’t.”
“Mom, it’s not your fault.” Sean tried to console me by saying, “You can’t help what Dad does.”
“Yeah, it’s not your fault Dad’s a total perv,” Corry snickered as he took back his phone. “Widow should totally kick his ass.”
“Stop cussing!” I dropped my head in my hands as I fought the urge to scream. Between what was going on with Widow and what I’d heard about their father, I’d reached my limit. I just needed to stop, so I dropped my hands and looked over to the boys. “Stay out of your father’s drawers, and the next time one of you says a curse word, I’m taking your phone for the day.”
“What! Seriously?” they both complained.
“Yep. Completely and totally serious.”
“That’s so unfair.” Corry sank back in his chair with a pout. “I hate it when you’re in a bad mood.”
“Well, don’t give me a reason to be in a bad mood, then.”
“I didn’t. Dad did.”
Without replying, I turned and started walking to the kitchen. When I got to the door, I shouted, “I’m going outside to check the mail.”
I went over and grabbed a cigarette from my secret stash, then went out to my hiding spot. I lit it, and after smoking for only a second or two, I realized it wasn’t going to help. Nothing was. Frustrated, I tossed it on the ground and stomped it out. I tossed what was left of the cigarette into the trash and headed back inside. I wasn’t ready to go back in with the boys, so I went to the bathroom and started a bath. I hoped a long soak might help take my mind off things. Once it was ready, I took off my clothes and slipped down into the hot water.
I closed my eyes, and it wasn’t long before the tension in my shoulders and back started to fade. I inhaled a deep breath and tried to savor the moment, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to stop the storm of thoughts from raging in my head. There was just too much going on. The coffee shop’s weekly inventory, Corry’s counseling, Roman and our last conversation, and the boys and their father. I just wanted a momentary escape, but there was none to be had. The water was still hot when I got out and dried off. I threw on my pajamas, and after I got something together for the boys dinner, I got in my bed. I didn’t even turn on the TV. I just lay there in the dark, and it wasn’t long before I finally drifted off to sleep.